A training programme has been set up in east Cork to teach volunteers how to respond to the needs of families bereaved by suicide.
The National Suicide Bereavement Support Network programme is particularly suitable for people who are first on the scene in these tragedies such as gardaí, clergy and teachers. Network co-ordinator Ms Theresa Millea says the training is of benefit to people who feel ill-equipped to assist families who have lost a loved one to suicide.
Ms Millea first became involved in helping the suicide bereaved in 1990 when she set up a support group in Cork. She felt isolated following her own bereavement to suicide in 1981 and wanted to reach out to people in similar situations.
The Cork woman received more than 100 calls a weeks from people asking for information on support groups and decided to set up a national network in 1998. The network now has 37 groups across the State which provide counselling and support for family and friends of suicide victims.
Ms Millea says people often need practical advice on issues such as inquests and post-mortems following a suicide. Many families do not realise that they are not obliged to attend an inquest and can be represented by a solicitor.Often family members attend an inquest expecting to find answers to their loved ones' deaths and leave with feelings of disappointment. The network co-ordinator said the suicide bereaved are often deeply upset by pathologists reports at inquests.
"You have somebody who didn't even know the person and they are making a speech about the remains of your loved one. It is very hurtful." Support groups, she says, bring difficult issues to the fore which may not have been discussed in one to one counselling.
Ms Millea remembers speaking to a woman who felt incredibly guilty because she could not cope with staying at home with her children following the death of her husband. She says it was important to explain to the woman that the need to escape is a normal reaction to such a loss. Ms Millea claims the decriminalisation of suicide in 1993 has helped to ease the stigma surrounding deaths.
"When I lost my loved one, people I had known for a long time crossed to the other side of the road when they saw me. They were uncomfortable with it. That has changed to a certain extent. People are more sympathetic."
Further information on the training course, which is only open to people in the east Cork area, can be obtained by calling (024) 95561. The network website can be accessed at www.nsbsn.org or contact the group by mail at the Community Centre, Main Street, Killeagh, Co Cork.
OLIVIA KELLEHER