Dail Sketch: The Dáil was back early for statements on the European presidency, but the shortened holiday did not satisfy opposition demands for parliamentary reform.
Pat Rabbitte compared this week's "sanitised" schedule - no questions, no real debate - to the Friday sessions used for shifting legislative backlogs. We were in for "a week of Fridays", he sniffed.
In fact, Mr Rabbitte was temporarily unable to sniff. The man who specialises in getting up the Taoiseach's nose was having trouble with his own, and after delivering a nasal statement on the presidency, he was seen to insert a Vicks Inhaler stick in his left nostril. The product in question promises "fast relief from stuffy noses". But as for stuffy Dáil debates, not even Vicks can help.
The Labour leader's nose was not the only thing blocked. The entrance to Leinster House was guarded by a dramatically enhanced security barrier, and we couldn't decide whether this was a symbol of Fortress Europe, or an early example of EU enlargement. Either way, judging by the empty spaces in the TDs' car-park, many TDs had not made it through the barrier for the Dáil's return.
The enlargement of the Taoiseach's role was also quickly apparent. Enda Kenny evoked another security barrier - the 20-foot wall being built by Israel on the West Bank - when suggesting the Taoiseach make solving the Palestinian question a central issue of his presidency. And as if that wasn't enough to keep him busy, Ruairí Quinn urged Mr Ahern to "go for the big prize" of concluding the EU constitutional treaty.
In doing so, the former Labour leader attempted to inspire him with walls of a different kind: the stone ones of Connemara. "Masterpieces of natural architecture," Mr Quinn called them. And just as we wondered what he was talking about, he explained that the genius of such walls was that they derived their strength from "the large stones", but their stability from "the small ones". A Europhile homily that was lost on Caoimhghín Ó Caoláin TD from stone-rich Monaghan, who regretted that a "United States of Europe" was a bigger priority for some than a United Ireland.
But it took the man who headed Ireland's last European presidency to clear the Dáil's sinuses yesterday. John Bruton bordered on rapturous as he spoke of the success of the EU, "the quality mark of democracy", and in particular of the imminent accession of the "formerly enslaved" states of Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia. May 1st would be "a truly wonderful day", he said.
His enthusiasm for the EU even bridged Ireland's political divide. In his short speech he not only quoted from Seán Lemass and Charles Haughey, but predicted Mr Ahern would do "a great job". By the time he had finished, the walls were coming down all over Europe (except in Connemara), and even Pat Rabbitte's breathing was free.
