Radio Review: For a brand new and much-heralded radio programme, The Breakfast Show with Eamon Dunphy (Newstalk 106, Monday-Friday), sounded remarkably familiar.
Of course, Dunphy's voice is one of the most recognisable in Irish broadcasting - but it's not that. It's more that the format is a direct lift from his previous show, The Last Word, on Today FM - without, regrettably, Navanman. Once again, the emphasis is firmly on opinion, not news. It worked for Dunphy at drivetime but, in terms of listener appeal, it's a challenging way for a talk radio breakfast show to go. At that hour of the day, listeners traditionally divide into those who want wall-to-wall authoritative news coverage or music and a bit of chat and the Dunphy show is neither.
There are no staff reporters and hardly any guests come into studio. Instead, stories are usually covered through phone calls to newspaper hacks and Dunphy's pals. It's not an agenda-setting formula.
Contributors are frequently introduced with the words "my good friend" or more usually, "brilliant", an adjective that's thrown around like snuff at a wake. That flattery thing runs through his interviews too. On Monday, Mary Harney was given airtime for what amounted to a party political broadcast, and on Wednesday Dunphy was kissing up to Charlie McCreevy. Are there really enough people out there who want to listen to the utter tedium of unchallenged politician-speak for 15 minutes at that hour of the morning? A round-up of what's in the papers is a staple of all breakfast shows but the way it's done in this show is so opinion-led that it's perfectly possible to come away with no clear overview of what's actually in the newspapers.
On Wednesday, "my good friend, Louis Walsh" was the in-studio reviewer of the papers. This was the day that every newspaper printed those grainy stills taken from the video filmed at the Beslan gymnasium. They were so profoundly sad and shocking that all you had to do was look at them once and the image was forever seared into your memory. Not Louis's. With all the papers laid out in front of him, the pop impresario's choice of top story was the tabloid headline "'I'm a boob man' says Brian McFadden". "That's a big story," said Walsh. At least one Newstalk listener had the sense to hop on the phone and point out that it is not, in fact, a big story - a listener, mind you, not his friend Dunphy.
And there's sports coverage, a lot of it. A long telephone interview with a former manager of the Swiss team on Wednesday, the day of the Republic of Ireland/Switzerland match, should surely have been enough pre-match coverage but no, Dunphy thrashed it out again with Johnny Giles at the end of the programme.
That's either comprehensive or overkill depending on your level of sports addiction.
Only once in his first week did Dunphy live up to his signature tune, the rather optimistically chosen Rebel Rebel by David Bowie, and the Newstalk suits, who are reportedly paying him one of the biggest salaries in Irish radio, must have breathed a sigh of relief.
As he leafed through the overwhelmingly positive newspaper coverage of John Bruton's appointment as EU Ambassador to Washington, an incensed Dunphy took the contrary view, heatedly listing off what he perceives as Bruton's failures and ending with "I wouldn't call him a hack, he's a failed mediocrity, the worst possible appointee." That surely is the Dunphy they're paying for.
Another programme that's going to have even more difficulty living up to its signature tune is Rattlebag (RTÉ1, Monday-Friday). It came back for a new season with the edgy sound of Franz Ferdinand replacing the old jingle but the show itself is still sliding deeper and deeper into afternoon TV territory - a sort of Live at Three without the fashion and cookery.
On Tuesday, I tuned into the national broadcaster's arts show for the inside track on what is actually going on at the National Theatre. Not, surely, an unreasonable expectation. Nothing, not a mention. The following day, expecting an analysis of the now-changed situation and an update - this is supposed to be an arts show and this is the biggest arts story of the year - I tuned in again only to hear presenter Miles Dungan blandly dispatch the story in about three minutes before spending the entire show talking about a new biography of Sammy Davis Jnr and a book about a rhinoceros in 18th century England.
The books' PRs must have been delighted. Gerry Ryan (2FM, Monday-Friday) did an excellent interview on Wednesday with Ian Holm about the actor's new biography but I don't think Ryan would ever call his programme an arts show. Meanwhile, the Abbey story was left to Morning Ireland and Five Seven Live (both RTÉ 1, Monday-Friday), which had extensive, excellent coverage.
Classical music expert Ted Courtney turned up on Rattlebag on Tuesday promoting a music appreciation course. At one point he said in his precise, authoritative voice, "Critics love the ordinary, they love mediocrity."
Not so, Ted. Not so.