RADIO REVIEW / Quentin Fottrell:EVERY WEEKDAY in that hour-long no-man's-land zone before lunch, when you're contemplating the possible existence of a tuna sandwich without sweetcorn or a wrap with untold excitement within, Ronan Collins (Radio One, Mon-Fri) plays songs by artists who have ascended to that great Busby Berkeley musical in the sky where synchronised swimmers form hypnotic kaleidoscopes of human flesh, which blossom and rotate to help you forget all about the Great Depression or Feared Recession.
I like to think Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain and Janis Joplin are rolling up the chewed sleeves of their threadbare jumpers and joining Ruby Keeler & co in this pre-Hays Code Heavenly Hollywood Nirvana. On Monday, Collins played Chattanooga Choo Chooas interpreted by Glenn Miller. ("Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?" the joke on the lyrics goes.)
He wanted to know what Shirley Temple, who turns 80 on Wednesday, sings in the Playstation ad. ( Get on Board Lil' Children.) This week, I had my belly-full of talk radio, so I left Collins on after 12 and listened to The Hollies' Carrie Anne. Remember her? She was quite independent, never caring, lost her charm as she was aging. Some listener got annoyed because he thought Collins didn't like playing vinyl. "I never apologise for it," he replied. "Sometimes you can hear the crackle. There is no record player in the studio, so it has to be transferred onto disc." And therein ended the only high drama before high noon.
It was nothing like the outrage on The FM104 Phoneshowwith Adrian Kennedy (FM104, Mon-Fri), which I usually hear in the back of those late-night taxi vans as I roll around like the last peanut in the jar, but it was enough to keep me going until Monday's Liveline (RTÉ Radio One, Mon-Fri) when Joe Duffy squared up to his own chorus of disapproval over a planned Joe Dolan reunion show which will include a video image of the man himself. During the argy-bargy, the video morphed into a hologram. Duffy pointed out the difference.
Michael was first: "If you'll bear with me for a second - I'm in recovery after an operation." Is that the real reason he called in? Do we Irish actually talk to Joe about joint pain and the like? Anyway, Michael said, "It's appalling! It's an insult!"
There was another blast from the past. Duffy said, "Brush Shiels, your point please." Sheils said, "I've a lot of different points." Duffy replied, "That's what I was afraid of." Shiels continued, "I . . . (Actually, we don't have time for them here either. Sorry, Brush.)
Antoinette was on the telephone next: "It's just a money-making racket! If they had any respect for the man himself, they should rent out a big, big hall and get down on their knees and all say a lovely prayer in honour of Joe. Wouldn't that be nice?" Yes, it would. She added, "Would you like it now, Joe Duffy, if we all got together and got someone on the radio and said, right now, he's Joe Duffy after coming back, we'll all tune into Joe." Ah, but we do, Antoinette. He's called Damien O'Reilly.
For once on Liveline, they agreed. "It sickens me!" Michael said. "It sickens me too!" Antoinette replied. "I admired him!" Michael said. "I admired him too!" Antoinette added. (Joe Dolan would have enjoyed this.) "He should rest in peace!" Michael said. "Yes, rest in peace!" Antoinette echoed. Anne called to say, "He was the nearest thing to God for me!" Antoinette added, "It's like Duffy's Circus!" She was referring to the "reunion", of course, but it was Joe Duffy I pictured sitting atop the elephant.
Later that evening, Ian Fox continued his marvellous The Lyric Collection: Grand European Tour(Lyric FM, Mon), now in Copenhagen, starting with a "champagne gallop" by Hans Christian Lymbye (1810-1874). It reminded me of ice-skating in the Tivoli Gardens at Christmas. Fox pronounces Copenhagen as in "Häagen Dazs", which is correct. I say it like "Hague" as in the Court of Justice. I'm going to say it like the ice-cream from now on (but I will stop short of eating a Mars bar with a knife and fork).
Fox also played some Inga Nielsen, the Danish soprano who died last February, in the role of Leonore in Fidelio for Naxos. Leonore wanted to free her husband from prison. Nielsen showed her intuitive talent as an actress, as I couldn't understand a word she sang.
Fox also played Carl Nielsen's (1865-1931) Symphony No 2: The Four Temperaments. The moods are choleric, phlegmatic, melancholic and sanguine. After the week I've had, thanks be to Nora, Jack and Tom Jones, No 2 was the last of those.
Before bedtime, Tom Dunne (Today FM, Mon-Fri) said, "Get your groove on and get ready to go!" Only this scamp could get away with that kind of language after 1973. He played songs by Crystal Castles (sounds very Busby Berkeley), Last Shadow Puppets (a hint of showband reunions), Giveamanakick (echoes of Liveline) and Great Expectations (reminiscent of Lyric's 19th Century). It was just before midnight when the idea for another tribute, Joe Duffy: The Opera, majestically descended on me from above.