Toddlers, old-age pensioners, weary shoppers - nobody was safe from the men in grey suits who swarmed through the small Co Antrim town of Ballycastle over the weekend. Their mission - to secure victory for the UUP's Mr David Burnside in the forthcoming South Antrim by-election - was one they were taking very seriously indeed.
The men, led by UUP leader Mr David Trimble, wasted no time going to work on the voters. They took to their task with gusto, plastering David Burnside stickers on everything that moved. The Ballymoney man was campaigning on a platform of unity, and sticking together appeared to be something of a speciality among his election team.
The pace was fast on this sunny Saturday afternoon. Mr Burnside doled out numerous pats on babies' heads, while Mr Trimble perfected that favourite politician's manoeuvre: shake hands/ smile/chat inanely/move along/repeat. At one point, the First Minister darted across the road after spotting a prime non-moving target, an elderly couple on a bench. It was a mistake, and the irate gentleman began to shout at the UUP leader. The posse moved by quickly, as though the rebuttal hadn't even occurred.
Earlier, Mr Trimble had arrived at local Assembly Member Mr Jim Wilson's office, where Lord Molyneaux, Mr Michael McGimpsey, Minister of Culture Arts and Leisure, and Mr Roy Beggs MP were also on hand to lend support to Mr Burnside.
The TV cameras homed in on Mr Trimble as reporters questioned him about the flags controversy. Experienced in these matters, former UUP leader Lord Molyneaux gave Mr Burnside a prod in the cameras' direction. Mr Trimble sang the candidate's praises and condemned those opposing unionists in the DUP who, he said, never really did anything, preferring to "sit and shout and mouth".
Nobody was getting mouthy on the Burnside campaign bus, largely due to the fact that the loudspeaker technology was not working. There was laughter, though, when the vehicle of the opposition, the DUP's the Rev Willie McCrea, drove past in the opposite direction.
Mr Burnside refused to talk directly about the competition, calling the DUP "that other party" and Mr McCrea "the other candidate". All he would say is that he stands for unity within unionism.
"People are sick of all this infighting," he said.
Others were just sick of politicians. "Here come all the once-a-year men," laughed one man with muddy boots and a checked shirt as the bus rolled into, appropriately enough, the village of Burnside, where a one-day festival was in full swing.
"I'm bribing my way around the constituency," joked the candidate, clutching a jar of marmalade bought from one of the stalls.
Such tactics were superfluous, according to his leader. "We are only concerned about the size of our majority, " said a supremely confident Mr Trimble, returning to Ballycastle for a walkabout.
For the most part, the UUP men were warmly received in the town. In the greengrocers', young women chatted to Mr Trimble and shook his permanently outstretched hand. In a chemist's, Mr Burnside stood at the perfume counter and made small talk with the white-coated assistant.
The two Davids made a slick double-act.
"This is David Burnside; he will be your next MP," Mr Trimble informed bemused shoppers. "Hello there," grinned Burnside. "Of course you know the First Minister, Mr Trimble".
Eventually, the well-oiled election machine made its way back to Mr Wilson's office, where Mr Burnside had a bright idea. He disappeared into the office, reemerging minutes later with a tray of perfectly cut sandwiches. He briefed Mr Trimble and then they both ran across the road into a small hair salon, where staff erupted into giggles.
The politician and the wouldbe MP skipped back across to the office only after receiving assurances that staff and customers would support Mr Burnside on September 21st. This was by-election time in South Antrim and there was no such thing as a free lunch.