Tom Cruise's embarrassing public display of affection for Katie Holmes has been dismissed as just another PR stunt, writes Shane Hegarty
Tom Cruise really loves Katie Holmes. Really, really loves her. A fortnight ago he went on The Oprah Winfrey Show to tell the world. He flapped his arms, he punched the air and jumped on the sofa. Then he went and grabbed his actor girlfriend from backstage and brought her out front so he could kiss her in public. He didn't want to leave anyone in any doubt. Instead, he has left everyone asking awkward questions.
The footage, as the Seattle Times puts it, has been "analysed like the Zapruder film". Time magazine asked: "Is Tom Cruise crazy in love? Or is he just crazy?" The outburst has become a popular internet download. Television comedians have been satirising it. While picking up a Tony Award last week, Billy Crystal joked: "I have an announcement. I, too, am head over heels in love with Katie Holmes."
His ex-wife Nicole Kidman suggested he should calm down if he didn't want people to question the authenticity of his relationship. She should know. Their marriage was also dogged by rumour. The couple successfully sued after it was reported that they had to be taught love-making while filming Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut.
Cruise's display has been the watercooler moment of the year so far. He's not the only good star to have gone bad of late, but, while Russell Crowe somewhat lived up to expectations when allegedly throwing a phone at a hotel receptionist at four in the morning, the behaviour of the normally cool and collected Cruise has been somewhat erratic. The relationship between 42-year-old Cruise and 26-year-old Holmes had already raised eyebrows, as are both publicising big movies. This time, though, he's also talking openly about his belief in Scientology, and it's open season on Cruise.
During a television interview, he criticised Brooke Shields's use of anti-depression medication, but picked the wrong person to mess with. Shields has bitten back with humour. Cruise said that her post-natal depression could be treated with vitamins and exercise, as Scientologists believe. Then he wondered why her career had gone wrong.
Shields, currently starring in the West End, retorted that his views are "dangerous", then went for the jugular. She mocked his relationship: "If he wants to see Chicago, I've left him two tickets - one adult, one child". Then she suggested that "Tom should stick to saving the world from aliens and let women who are experiencing postpartum depression decide what treatment options are best for them". He does fight aliens in the upcoming remake of War of the Worlds, but many see this remark as a coded jibe on Scientology and its interest in extra-terrestrials.
Cruise is an Operating Thetan 6 (there are eight levels) and will be well versed in the little green men aspects of the religion. He's always been a public believer in Scientology, but it's only lately that he's become so vocal on the topic. He has recently dropped his publicist of 14 years, with gossip columns suggesting that it was because it was left to her to tell him not to talk to the press about Scientology. He denies this. His spokesperson is now his sister, Lee Anne DeVette, also a Scientologist. Meanwhile, there have been allegations that, before she could interview him, a Reader's Digest journalist had to undergo an "immersion course" in Scientology and that Church of Scientology leaders had a look at the copy before it went to print.
All of which has prompted the press to drag up the old rumour that he has high-profile relationships with women to hide his alleged homosexuality, even though Cruise has already scotched these rumours in court. He successfully sued an "erotic wrestler" who claimed he had had a gay fling with the star when there had in fact been no such relationship.
Cruise's appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show has been a PR disaster. One PR expert has warned that he's heading towards a point at which the public will think him "creepy and weird". Radio hosts refer to the "Cruise-Holmes Hoax". Paramount Studios were rumoured to be ready to pull the plug on the $150 million (€124 million) Mission: Impossible III, such has been the damage to his reputation. Meanwhile, ABC gossip columnist Heidi Oringer has - either bravely or stupidly - predicted that "there's going to be some very damaging information about Mr Cruise that will be exposed in the very near future". Things are looking a bit ominous for Tom Cruise. But if it all goes wrong, at least he'll have Katie Holmes's love to keep him warm.