There is a God, and she has shown her wrath in Ennis, apparently. The closure of a controversial sex shop due to flooding has led locals to conclude that the flooding was an act of God rather than an act of incompetence by the urban district council, according to the Clare Champion.
The newspaper's leader concerned Clare County Council's enforcement of its controversial "apartheid" policy of banning "outsiders" from building their homes in some of the most attractive parts of the county.
The council has been accused of infringing the constitutional rights of non-indigenous people following its decision to suspend a planning application by a German national and her Kerry-born partner to develop two houses at Mountshannon.
"The Austrian Jorg Haider and his Freedom Party are not everyone's cup of tea, but on at least one front they are sipping from the same pot as Clare County Council [because] the Freedom Party, insofar as we know, would be quite content with chasing non-Austrians out of Austria," said the Champion.
"Although not openly neo-fascist, the Freedom Party have made their reputation on a platform sympathetic both to the ideology and the actions of Nazism.
"Herr Haider has been caricatured with a pasted-on moustache in the tradition of Herr Hitler with whom he appears to share xenophobic tendencies and a loathing of immigrants.
"Which brings us to Clare County Council and its policy of banning perceived `outsiders' from building homes in certain parts of the county."
The council may not have the rhetoric of Herr Haider at its command, but through its "heavy-handed blundering" and "apparently arbitrary decision-making" it may yet convince local and non-indigenous people alike that "no matter how scenic the surrounds, they'd really rather not live in this particular backwoods," the Champion said.
The Westmeath Examiner was equally scathing of politicians, saying that Mr Denis Foley TD was the latest to fail to recollect certain events when questioned.
"Are there many readers out there who cannot recall where they had a fairly sizeable amount of cash stored?" an incredulous leader writer asked. "If these brilliant men are so forgetful, how do they amass the money in the first place?
"Without stroking everyone with the same brush . . . it seems that certain representatives spend more time satisfying their own greed than trying to make the difference that is needed in society . . . This country needs a wake-up call and it needs something or someone to sort this messy political chapter out for once and for all."
Wheelie bins, refuse charges and landfill sites have become such hot issues that a Waterford County Council debate on waste management became so chaotic that a group of students were left "ashen-faced", according to the Waterford News & Star.
Describing the fiasco as "the worst ever PR exercise for local democracy", the leader-writer commented that the secondary school students sat "flabbergasted" as "grown men swapped jibe after jibe like children in a playground."
The Connacht Tribune was also concerned with the confusion, claims and counterclaims concerning waste management, thermal treatment and dioxins, although decorum had been maintained in the debate in Galway so far.
"As the weeks progress, and the disputation becomes more divided and somewhat heated, it is surely becoming clearer that we are going to need some forum within which the whole issue of the disposal of waste material in this county - and indeed over the entire country - can be debated and some real light shed on the situation.
"In other words, we need a forum within which it can be established beyond reasonable doubt that what is described as `scientific fact' is established as just that," it advised.
We have heard of couch potatoes. How about "cot potatoes"?
The Glens of Antrim potato company has opened a daycare centre catering to its employees and the local community, the Ballymena Guardian reported. "We are the largest employer in the Glens and need a high-calibre workforce to help us meet the demands of today's food industry. Many of these staff need a reliable and professionally run care service for their families," explained a company spokeswoman.
Louise Kennedy, a native of Thurles, is designing a new look for Tipperary's hurlers, according to the Tipperary Star. This will enable the club to market its own range of clothing as Manchester United and Liverpool do now.