With visitors from over 100 countries, Cannes is rife with communication problems, and not just among those who arrive with just a "petit peu" of Francais. To assist those unfamiliar with the language that is Hollywoodese, Moving Pictures International, one of the six trade papers published daily at Cannes, helpfully provided a dictionary of key euphemistic terms, of which these are some of the most telling - and re-printable:
Verbs
To schmooze: befriend scum
To research: procrastinate indefinitely
To pitch a project: grovel shamelessly
To network: spread misinformation
To collaborate: argue incessantly
Nouns
Agent: frustrated lawyer
Lawyer: frustrated producer
Producer: frustrated writer
Writer: frustrated writer
Director: frustrated actor
Actor: frustrated human
Compound Nouns
High concept: lowbrow
Production values: (1) gore (2) explosions
Entry level: pays nothing