Queuing in a patient and orderly line outside Myer, the main department store in Melbourne, I had time to reflect on how manners has been put on my native land.
When I was a child the famous "Myers windows" in Bourke Street, decorated thematically for Christmas in a splendour of tinsel, coloured lights and fairytale narrative, drew large and unruly crowds who massed and surged to gain a glimpse of the then exotic sight.
But in December 1999 I found to my astonishment a neat British-style queue, complete with posts and ropes, and what is more, the multicultural Australians with their offspring on foot and in buggies, unquestioningly obeying the restraints as they inspected clever tableaux depicting Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
This surprising good behaviour was just one manifestation of how the Wild Colonial Boy has been well and truly tamed at the start of the 21st century.
There are plenty of other examples of the new orderly Australia, a far cry from the happy-go-lucky Crocodile Dundee/Barry McKenzie myth of cheerful chaos. The place is neat. One notices it particularly in Victoria, where motorways almost look scrubbed. Perhaps they are, because every so often one comes across a sign inviting motorists to "adopt" a stretch of road and take responsibility for its cleanliness and surrounding plant life.
On the roads, one can wait drumming fingers at an intersection while the only car on the other road travels sedately at bang on the speed limit - 35 m.p.h. in built-up areas, sometimes less. At parties, Aussie males built like tree trunks sip lemonade rather than drink and drive.
All this road safety awareness is, of course, a blessing, and long overdue considering the horrendous road toll which peaked in the 1970s before the long campaign forcing people to save their own lives swung into action.
In 1970, for example, 1,034 died on Victoria's roads (a state with a population of around three million). In 1999 the figure was below 300 - still 300 people who should not have died that way, but considering the population and car ownership growth in nearly 30 years, a commendable achievement.
Fines are draconian, and licences can be lost on the spot if the police see fit. Colin Winstanley, a supervisor with the state's ambulance service, says there is a huge difference in the severity of car accidents in recent years.
Deaths and the seriousness of injuries are down greatly, because the impact of a collision is not as great when the vehicles involved are travelling at lower speeds.
A hardline approach has also been taken to illegal drug use, a problem of ever-increasing severity. I wondered why the lights in railway station bathrooms were disco blue, and was enlightened by a child I heard telling her younger sister it was "to stop the drug addicts . . . so they can't find a vein." Chilling. On a lighter note is the manufactured friendliness in shops. People in Australia are mostly easy-going and friendly, but just to make sure, shop assistants are virtually coerced into inquiring "How are you today?" when you venture in to make even the smallest purchase. Supermarket chains have leaflets at the checkout, interrogating customers: "Were you greeted politely? Did the staff member inquire if you were satisfied with your shopping experience?" Well, I would be if they would leave me alone.
Perhaps much of the explanation for this nouveau political correctness and scrupulousness lies with the regime of the Prime Minister, John Howard, a bespectacled man of below middle height who has something of Winston Churchill's "cross baby" look without, alas, Churchillian wit. When I was last in Australia, Howard had just defeated the colourful Paul Keating in the federal election of March 1996. My family's proud boast was that we drove straight to the airport as soon as the Howard era dawned. For all his political skills and experience (he has been a MP for over 25 years), Howard is not a man to excite passion. Indeed it was embarrassing when he was introduced, via video link, to the huge crowd of Aussie soldiers at a Christmas concert in the Timorese capital, Dili, where the Australians are leading the UN peacekeeping force. "The Prime Minister, John Howard!" shouted the compere. Silence. (Well, perhaps there were a few brown-nosers applauding at the back, but you couldn't hear them on the telly). That low-key reception was all the more striking when the next speaker, Lieut Gen Peter Cosgrove, the Australian military head of the mission in East Timor, was introduced to a huge cheer.
Another contributory factor to the new well-behaved Australia could be the influence of many immigrants from China and other Asian countries, who are accustomed to an orderly and authoritarian society. There has been a Chinese community in Australia since the goldrushes of the middle to late 19th century, but the numbers have increased greatly, especially since special provisions were introduced after the Tiananmen Square killings in 1989. A recent study published by Monash University in Victoria found that the Chinese ethnic group ranks sixth in numbers, after English, Irish, and Scottish (ranked separately), German and Italian.
The Chinese presence is marked in both Melbourne and Sydney. Both cities have whole areas where it is rare to see a Caucasian strolling down the street on a Sunday afternoon, and there are arcades in the city centre totally devoted to Chinese shops. With this comes the renowned Chinese commitment to high achievement in education, which can make everybody pull up their socks in response.