"God must a feminist," said a woman at Portmarnock Golf Club as the heavens opened and the rain poured down on the pro-am yesterday afternoon.
Feminism's only hope of arriving at Portmarnock would have been by divine intervention. There certainly weren't hordes of angry women screaming at the gates of the exclusive, men-only Co Dublin club. Despite concerns, the National Women's Council decided not to organise a protest this week.
Women players were allowed to take part yesterday but only a handful did and finding them was hard work for the media. First of all, there was Jude O'Reilly, who word had it was a Judith. We covered miles, touring the tees in search of the elusive player, but when eventually tracked down, she turned out to be a he.
Photographers scoured the course through long lenses and became excited at the sight of a pony-tailed player at the sixth tee. Maybe she would have some bolshie views. Alas, the long-haired "lady" was just a bohemian male.
Everything about Portmarnock reeks of money. There were rows of shiny Mercs in the car-park. "They put the new ones in the front row just to impress," said Ihe Irish Times cynical taxi-driver.
There were some big names taking part, including Westlife's Brian McFadden, snooker player Ken Doherty, and a host of captains of industry. Senator Feargal Quinn played in one of the two Superquinn teams.
The first round of the legal battle between the club and the Equality Authority began in Dublin District Court yesterday but nobody at Portmarnock seemed worried. The members discussed business deals and complained about the food.
Portmarnock is meant to be the gin and tonic brigade but a fair few pints of Guinness were downed in the bar which also stocked a wide variety of cigars.
"The poshest people ever come here," confided a female worker. There was a preponderance of Georges, Bruces and Malcolms.
Many brought their sons to introduce them to the club. Membership runs in families. The foreign visitors seemed equally well-heeled. They discussed which open was fashionable to attend and which not.
Some golfers' wives watched from the sidelines, immaculate in their pink and white suits with matching pearls. The less passive ones were caddies for their husbands and complained loudly about the club's gender bias.
Away from the course, male spectators sought out the Real Massage Company's outlet.
"We heard they could do great things for three Wicklow lads up from the country," said Mr Derek Mulrooney who stretched out in the massage chairs with friends Mr Pat O'Neill and Mr Vincent Synnott.
The Nissan Irish Open starts today and Paddy Power is offering several novelty bets. It's 33/1 for a female streaker to interrupt Sunday's trophy ceremony.
It's 66/1 for a woman to handcuff herself to the elaborate prize, a Waterford crystal trophy and it's 50/1 for the winner to berate the club in his acceptances speech over the club's men-only policy. Then there's the 100-1 long-shot - for a Portmarnock member to be expelled for having a sex change.