Italian men treat women badly and insist on society’s right to view them as sex objects
WHEN THE Women In The Worldsummit opened in New York earlier this month, many commentators were amazed that the conference intended to address the current condition of women not only in traditionally "conservative" African and Asian countries but also in modern Italy.
Ironically, perhaps nothing better illustrates the all-embracing Italian cultural monolith than Italian machismo. North, south, east or west, on the right or on the left, the Italian male (not all fortunately) treats women badly, consistently underpaying them, turning partners into house slaves and yet insisting on society’s right to see women as sex objects, be that in advertising, TV shows or indeed in public life.
Inevitably, the Women In The Worldsummit focused some very critical attention on Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, about to go on trial in Milan in the so-called "Rubygate" scandal on the charge of "exploitation of underage prostitution".
Italian radical, feminist and former European commissioner Emma Bonino, while acknowledging the “unacceptable” manner in which media mogul Berlusconi has perpetuated the Italian macho cultural stereotype, felt obliged to point out to the conference that this was one Italian “problem” that did not begin with Berlusconi.
After a quarter century of life in Italy, I would have to agree.
This is about more than obvious statistical considerations regarding the relatively low numbers of women in high political, cultural or industrial places (eg, we have not yet had a woman prime minister or president) or about the alarming rates of violence against women (a 2007 Istat survey claims that 31.9 per cent of women between the ages of 16 and 70 are victims of physical or sexual violence).
It comes as no surprise when the World Economic Forum’s gender equality ranking rates Italy 74th of 134 countries, easily the worst in Europe and behind African and Asian countries such as Ghana, Malawi and Vietnam. This is very clearly as much a cultural consideration as a socio-economic one.
Observing couples in the early years in Italy was enlightening. For example, there was Giovanni, an editor at one of Italy’s most successful and liberal dailies, who used to get into a fierce temper when he arrived home to find that his Australian wife had not yet put on the boiling water for the pasta.
Or Sophia, a senior, highly accomplished civil servant, who felt totally unentitled to buy as much as a pair of socks without the OK from husband Massimo, himself another senior civil servant.
Foreign wives could have an especially difficult time. American Linda, married to Arturo, an immensely successful and talented painter, was rarely trusted to do the shopping on her own. Not just the food and most of her clothes but also all household items, including dustbins, would be bought by her husband.
I recall one day when an English teacher colleague came to the house for a joint work project with my wife. No sooner had she arrived than her Italian husband was on the phone, inquiring if she was there. It turned out that this husband was infamous at her workplace for making regular “just checking” phone calls.
The bottom line is simple enough. You cannot really trust those women, you had better not concede them too much autonomy and, anyway, a man is much more important. The problem is, however, that a lot of Italian women seem to accept this state of affairs.
The Women In The Worldsummit was shocked when informed that, on average, Italian women do 21 hours a week of household chores, while the husband does four. No surprise, then, that 90 per cent of Italian men do not know how to use the washing machine.
There is, of course, another, arguably more perverse aspect of the Italian female role model. In the age of Berlusconi’s alleged sex game “Bunga, Bunga”, there is a cultural template which argues that using your good looks, your sexuality, to enhance your career is simply sound common sense.
One obvious aspect of the vast number of tapped phone calls generated by the “Rubygate” investigation concerns the cynical calculating manner in which various wannabe starlets conceive of sexual encounters as a valuable step down the road to fame, money and even political office.
One less obvious aspect concerns the manner in which some of the girls’ mothers actively encouraged their daughters down this squalid, courtesan road.
At lunch the other day, Giuliana, a highly accomplished and senior management person in an automobile multinational based in Milan, complained about the office culture. How come younger, more glamorous colleagues kept getting promoted above her, despite her greater experience and better qualifications?
Perhaps, they were all better candidates for various better-paid jobs, she said. Or again, perhaps they had just slept their way to promotion. In the age of “Bunga, Bunga”, such doubts come easily.
It just so happens that the glamorous minister for equal opportunity Mara Carfagna in an earlier life was a showgirl who featured naked in her very own calendar. Equal opportunity – surely some contradiction, no?
This is nothing new. Italy, remember, is the country where when you see a glamorous woman who has forgotten to button up her blouse properly, you do not point this out to her – for the good reason that she has not “forgotten” – the plunging décolleté, stupid, is entirely intentional.
Perhaps some of the above is what Bonino was talking about when she told the summit that Italian women had “fallen asleep” and forgotten all their great battles (divorce, abortion) of the 1960s and 1970s. We have said it before, but maybe it is worth repeating in the light of the anti-Berlusconi, nationwide women’s protests last February.
Is it possible that the slumbering dragon of Italian feminism is about to rouse itself? Not before time.
31.9%
Percentage of Italian women between the ages of 16 and 70 who have been victims of physical or sexual violence. Source: 2007 Italian National Statistics Institute survey.
74th
Italy's gender equality ranking by the World Economic Forum. 134 countries measured.
21
Number of hours per week of household chores done by Italian women.
4
Number of hours per week of household chores done by Italian men.
Food for thought: why Italians make such an opera about eating
THE OTHER Sunday as we were shopping in the supermarket, we found ourselves accompanied by an
alto-voce, enthusiastic, plate by plate description of what one of our fellow shoppers intended to prepare for lunch.
The gentleman in question clearly had guests for lunch, guests who had gone with him to do the shopping and guests who were now being given a ball by ball commentary on what he intended to prepare for them.
His description of his forthcoming culinary wonder went on, more or less uninterrupted, for a good 15 minutes.
In any other culture, you would probably label the guy an eccentric, obsessive crank. In Italy, he is just one of about 60 million who can talk endlessly, and seemingly without ever getting bored, about food, often comparing the various family versions of staple culinary items.
The point about food in Italy is that ordinary Italians do it so well. Jamie Oliver should be glad that he was not born in Italy because, had he been, he would never have become a "celebrity chef". The point is that there are, at the latest count, approximately 30 million of them – wives, brother-in-laws, grandmothers, husbands, cousins, etc – all of them capable of and willing to prepare wonderful food.
Many years ago, footballer Liam Brady, who spent seven years in Italian football, said to me that his fellow Italian professionals had an almost instinctive knowledge about healthy eating. The Italian diet, strong on greens, low on meat and fats, with plenty of good olive oil and with a traditional tendency to eat only "in season" products, is naturally very healthy.
A knowledge of food, too, means there is very little snobbery about eating out. People not only know the dish they have ordered but, thanks to their grandmother, they know how to prepare it, often more tastily than the restaurant. This is partly because the basic Italian diet is gloriously uncomplicated, close to basic contadino (peasant) food and usually far removed from any idea of
nouvelle cuisine.
Food can vary dramatically, not just from region to region but from village to village. In our village of Trevignano, we have a pasta (lungarucci) that you will not get on the other side of the lake in Anguillara. Yet, the 360° degree excellence of Italian food remains another of the many "unifying" elements in modern Italy.
A final thought. When you eat out in Italy, your best bet is to ask your waiter for his/her recommendation. So many family-run Italian restaurants work on a limited production range that to order the item they have in that day makes a lot of sense. Paddy Agnew
TOMORROW:the cultural ties that bind Italians