A further (but not farther) reading from the Stylebook of Leviticus

Use ye not the phrase “turn into” when ye mean “turn in to”; that is unclean. For a chariot diver who turneth “in to” a side-street changeth only his direction. But a chariot driver who turneth “into” a side-street undergoeth a more fundamental transformation, becoming at one with the houses, the inns, and – yea! – even the cobblestones, so that he may be trampled underfoot.

In such a case, the driver might be likened unto Lot’s wife, who according to the scripture disobeyed God’s command not to look back at the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah and so turned into a pillar of salt.

If she had turned “in to” the pillar only – something that also occurreth frequently to drivers who look back at things – her condition would have been less serious. Although if it were a big enough pillar, and the chariot was speeding, verily, the difference might be negligible.

Write not “reign” when ye mean “rein”; that also is unclean. For a reign is something a monarch enjoyeth, while a rein restraineth a horse. In the ears of the Americanites, a “tight reign” implieth that the monarch is habitually drunk. But a driver that attempteth to control a chariot with a “tight reign” runneth a high risk of turning in to, or indeed into, something unexpected.

Bound for Glory – Frank McNally on the lost and re-found art of bookbinding

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If the Easter Proclamation had been written by management consultants instead of poets

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At Swim-two-bards – Frank McNally on a long literary week in Boston

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Between Plymouth Rock and a hard place – Frank McNally on a Sunday night in Boston

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If thou art a news scribe and reporting a controversial event such as a woman being turned into a pillar of salt, resist ye the temptation to call the result “Pillar-gate”. That is extremely unclean – yea, like unto a herd of swine even, or to the posterior of a sheep that hath the yellow scour.

For although it be two score years and more since the ancient prophets Woodward and Bernstein unleashed this plague upon the world, no incident of mild intrigue anywhere since hath escaped having the suffix “gate” added.

Verily, I say unto he or she who continueth to do this: Desist! For if it be true that a gate is another thing you can turn in to, it must also be possible that the next scribe who committeth this sin will turn into a gate. Great would be the rejoicing among the righteous.

In other rules: Use not the word “brave” as a noun when ye mean it as an adjective; that is an abomination. For if ye do, ye will be like the moneylenders who say: “We’re backing brave”, when they mean “we’re backing bravery”; and then ye too will cause weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Verily, I say unto such moneylenders: take thy things hence and defile not the holy temple of my ears with such abuses, lest I overturn your tables and make a scourge of cords to drive you out.

Write not “diffuse” if ye mean “defuse”; that is unclean and also dangerous. For it is good to defuse a bomb or a situation. But “diffuse” meaneth “scatter”, which is rarely a wise thing to do with a bomb.

Beware also “raze” and “raise”. For an unwary scribe may say that a building has been “raised to the ground”, which is an abomination, unless the building was subterranean to begin with and suffered reverse subsidence.

But if ye must use the word “raze”, add not “to the ground”. If that is not unclean, exactly, it is tautology. Suggestions that the building has also gone “up in flames” notwithstanding, there is only one direction a house destroyed by fire can go.

Confuse not the words “fly” and “flee”, for although they meant the same thing once, that can be legally unclean now. Each meaneth “leave abruptly”, but “fly” in this context hath become mostly literary usage.

Conversely, a frequent flyer can be a respected member of the community. A frequent fleer will have trouble getting bail.

Write not "prone" when ye mean "supine", or vice versa. For although each signifieth that a person lieth horizontally, they do so in different directions. A person cannot be simultaneously prone and facing upwards. Unless she be Terry Prone, in which case she can face anyway she liketh.

Write not that a deceased person hath “passed”. That is needless euphemism. Examinations, slow runners, and urine are all passed. But people die and may then be raised (but not razed, except in cremation ceremonies), eventually.

Confuse not “pallet” with “palate” or “palette”. A palette is an artist’s tool or colour range. Palate is the roof of your mouth and by extension taste in food. But pallet is a straw bed or mattress, not unlike what Lazarus was laid out on before he was raised (but not razed) to the ground.