Irish Ferries are at sea and so out of the reach of Bertie Ahern. Are other parts of the economy also beyond his control? asks Newton Emerson
Dublin Port tunnel
If labour legislation does not apply to any means of transport on coastal waters, then it is difficult to see how it can apply to any means of transport beneath coastal waters.
Aer Lingus
Airlines should only have to pay a minimum altitude wage. They may also ignore the laws of geometry by having simple Poles in a complex plane.
Shannon airport
The departure terminal is international territory - so employees have the same rights as they do in international waters. (Note: travellers should try the famous "Portuguese Coffee".)
Ryanair
If they can get away with claiming that Charleroi airport is near Brussels, then they can get away with claiming that Dublin airport is nowhere near Ireland.
Iarnród Éireann
Operates 10 passenger services a day through the south Armagh no-man's land. Is, therefore, exempt from all laws of the land.
Arramara Teoranta
If Latvian students are good enough to harvest winkles on the east coast, then why subsidise Connemara culchies to harvest seaweed on the west coast?
North Kerry
Having returned a Sinn Féin TD with maritime trading connections, the people of North Kerry are really asking for it. They should also have no problem with the sudden arrival of a private security firm.
Corrib Gas pipeline
If the gas is actually Norwegian then there is no reason why the staff can't all be Lithuanian.
The Burren
Strictly speaking the people of this region do not work on Irish soil.
The Lake Isle of Innisfree
The island is only accessible by boat. Consequently, any small cabins being built there can be erected by Turkish contractors on €2 an hour.
Garage forecourts
By reregistering their business in Liberia, garages could operate flag-of-convenience stores.
Capital exemption
Anyone living or working in the following areas of Dublin may be outside Irish jurisdiction: Ship Street, Fleet Street, Seafield Road, Waterstown Avenue, Cuckoo Lane.
Lansdowne Road
Stadium employees are not entitled to sick pay, holiday pay or maternity leave while staffing international fixtures.
Dingle
No longer recognised as a part of Ireland.
Howth
Never really was a part of Ireland.
International Financial Services Centre
Few of the people working in Dublin's financial district realise that their offices sit on land reclaimed from the sea. Even fewer of them realise that this means they're not entitled to a pension.
Irish Naval Service
If outsourcing works for the merchant navy, why can't it work for the other navy?
Centre for Public Inquiry
The CPI already employs people with a questionable passport status - so it might as well replace them all with Brazilians. Or Colombians.
Electricity Supply Board
From 2007 ESB plans to conduct business through a privately-financed undersea cable (see Dublin Port tunnel.)
Stena Line
Fortunately, as a Swedish-owned company, Stena doubtless views the Irish as cheap foreign labour already.
Office of the Taoiseach
If the Taoiseach won't enforce Irish sovereignty within the territorial seas as defined by Article 2 of the Constitution, then under Article 13 of the Constitution the President can replace him with a nice Filipino girl. They're very well educated, you know - and so polite!