WHO NEEDS jihadists to put the wind up you when it comes to flying when you’ve got stuff like this:
“Jet Blue 171 contact departure,” said the squeaky control tower voice in New York’s JKF airport to the jet pilot whooshing down the runway on February 17th.
“Awesome job,” marvels the pilot.
“That’s what you get guys when the kids are out of school,” laughs an adult at the control tower, presumably supervising the child. (Why presume anything, buddy?)
“Adios amigos,” the child tells an Aeromexico pilot.
“Adios amigo,” the pilot chuckles back.
The somewhat more down to earth officials at the Federal Aviation Administration were not amused. “Pending the outcome of our investigation, the employees involved in this incident are not controlling air traffic,” the FAA said. “This behaviour is not acceptable and does not demonstrate the kind of professionalism expected from all FAA employees.”
So that’s okay then . . .
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SO LONG as you’re not trying to get safely from Amsterdam to Ankara, flown by a Swede with a fake pilot’s licence.
Mind you, the 41-year-old Swede, who was at the helm of a jet bound for Ankara when caught this week, had been flying for 13 years and logged more than 10,000 flight hours using forged documents for airlines in Belgium, Britain and Italy.
The pilot was said to have expressed relief when confronted and had his pilot’s stripes removed from his uniform.
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THE AUTHORITIES in Canada want to initiate a public debate on an important and pressing national dilemma: should their anthem be gender neutral?
For nearly 100 years, Canadians have warbled O Canadawithout coming to any great harm. But now there are – apparently – convulsions over the line "True patriot love in all thy sons command".
The minority ruling Conservative government said it would ask parliament to look at the original lyrics to the anthem. Those lyrics, penned in 1908 by Canadian poet Robert Stanley Weir, read “True patriot love thou dost in us command”.
The version in current use – the one with “dost” replaced by that deeply offensive “sons’” – was adopted in 1914.
“I think the appropriate way to deal with this is through some sort of process where we have historical research and learned discussion,” said industry minister Tony Clement.
Michael Ignatieff, leader of the opposition Liberal party, said if the government was serious about boosting women’s rights it could have done something more substantive. One of the first things the Conservatives did after winning power in January 2006 was to cancel a deal the Liberals had struck to provide a national childcare system.
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An English dog-owner has been fined and barred from driving for six months for taking his pet for a stroll while sitting behind the wheel of his car.
“A lot of people exercise their dogs in that manner . . . it was a silly thing to do and there was an element of laziness,” he told the heartless court to no avail. It fined him £66, imposed three penalty points and banned him from driving for six months.
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UNDER THE headline “Cops: Man shoots up room, puts clock in microwave”, the following comes from Michigan:
“Authorities said an overnight hotel guest who claimed a divine calling has been jailed after shooting up his room and placing an alarm clock in the microwave.
“Police say the 53-year-old from Dearborn Heights surrendered about 8:30am on Sunday at the Albion Inn, about 85 miles west of Detroit.
“He was being held in the Calhoun County Jail [where else, eh?] pending arraignment and mental evaluation.
The Jackson Citizen Patriot said the man shot the bed, window, walls and ceiling of his room, where he left a note that read: ‘God delivered me from evil and placed me in Albion, Michigan.’
“No injuries were reported. The man’s name was not released.”
Albion, Michigan: twinned with Hades.