Why does Michael O'Leary constantly tilt at Aer Rianta landing charges? Because they are genuinely higher than anywhere in Europe, and add hugely to Ryanair's costs? Or because Aer Rianta is the most convenient target for his general loathing of semi-State monopolies, and he kicks out at it, not because it makes any difference, but because it makes him feel good? A pound to a penny, the latter.
He is entitled to these little pleasures in life, among which he would probably include kicking the Minister for Unenterprise and State Incompetence, Mary O'Rourke, up her bottom; and again, not because it changes things, but because it leaves a smile on his face that not even a burning hot clothes-iron across his tongue would demolish.
Why should be not be allowed these minor hedonistic indulgences? He has proved not only various Government Ministers and monopolies wrong; he has proved much of the trade union movement and the media - though not this column - wrong as well.
Media vilification
Four years ago, SIPTU launched the campaign to force Ryanair to negotiate with its own employees through it. Ryanair said no. What followed was unprecedented media vilification, led by the RTÉ newsroom. No matter that almost none of the US industries which have provided the backbone for our industrial growth negotiate through trade unions. Ryanair was Irish, and being Irish, had to adhere to old-fashioned rules, the ones which nearly closed us down as a trading nation.
SIPTU members showed us what that meant by nearly closing down Dublin Airport completely. Pickets a mile from the airport forced taxis to unload their passengers, obliging them to walk the rest of the way, carrying their luggage. Incoming passengers had to do the same in reverse. Traffic in and out of Ireland was thrown into chaos, and passengers in Dublin Airport and in airports across Europe were homicidal with rage.
Almost none of this was reported in the media. Instead, a disgraceful picture was painted of cheery strikers being applauded by passengers. Worse was to come. By chance, Ryanair's order for a new fleet of Boeings was announced at the same time. A Ryanair executive went out to Montrose to record an interview to discuss the order, in the course of which a question was asked about the industrial action at Dublin airport.
The RTÉ news that night used only the clip discussing the dispute. No mention was made of the order for planes - at that time, the single largest contract in Irish industrial history. It was truly scandalous.
Chronic problems
There's no avoiding Ryanair's success any more. It is set to become the largest airline in Europe, and one of the largest in the world. Aer Lingus, meanwhile, has become a tragedy, its chief executive sacked on such frivolous grounds that it would need a clinical psychiatrist to explain the motive behind them. It is for sale, at almost any price, complete with its chronic problems, its debt, its diseased semi-State culture, and with the vast colossus of SIPTU smiling hungrily as it contemplates negotiating on behalf of its members with the airline's new owners.
What owners? There aren't any. There probably won't be any, not outside the Howard Hughes Home for Bewildered Airline Tycoons, anyway. Certainly Michael O'Leary isn't interested in hitching that baffled, floundering Titanic to his nimble catamaran. Why should he? All Aer Lingus has that he might want is landing slots from that other semi-State monopoly, Aer Rianta, and if he bides his time, they will probably come his way too.
Aer Rianta, meanwhile, has embarked not on a programme of providing cheap and cheerful low-cost service to flyers, but on creating an expensive prestige airport at Dublin, perhaps to rival Frankfurt or Charles de Gaulle. Dublin Airport extensions are over-engineered, over-fancy, the new pier ridiculously over- extravagant.
This has occurred because Aer Rianta's priorities are all wrong; and why wouldn't they be? Aren't the priorities of all semi-State monopolies inevitably wrong? It has no competition to provide a vital service for some 3 million people over most of the eastern seaboard, including much of Northern Ireland. No wonder it pampers itself: it's what I'd do in its place. That's what semi-State monopolies do.
Most classically of all, it's what Bord na Mona did in the 1970s, when it created one of the most beautiful new buildings in Dublin, fully 50 miles from its nearest operational base. Why? But it was convenient for the civil servants who ran it. It was like Michael O'Leary having his headquarters in Mullingar. Mullingair: with weekly services to Athlone, but only if we feel like it.
Aer Lingus stranglehold
Now if we had a real Department for Enterprise, Trade and Employment, the Aer Rianta stranglehold on our airports would have been broken long ago. But we haven't. The Department acts as guardian of semi-State monopolies, protecting them as an extension of itself, its vanities, its pomps. It is yesterday's world, caught in the amber of protectionism, with all the vitality of a Jurassic gnat preserved in tree-gum.
A final thought. I suspect that Michael O'Leary intends not just to buy aeroplanes, but to dominate Boeing's production lines. That will give him enormous power over the entire world airline industry. He bought in a buyer's market for a knock-down price. His aircraft will be far more valuable when the US recession ends. If he wants, he can sell them on before the first rivet in the first plane is powered home. He is a clever fellow, with a lean and hungry look. We should watch him well.