"We are a grandmother", declared Margaret Thatcher imperiously on the steps of No 10 Downing Street to a startled press corps, writes Michael Parsons. The occasion was the birth of her son Mark's first child, Michael, in 1989.
She didn't look a bit happy holding a mewling infant - not like on those memorable occasions when she was announcing stuff that really tickled her fancy, such as defeating Argentina or nobbling the miners. But even the Iron Lady (or at least her handlers) had to admit that securing the future succession of the House of Thatcher (and guaranteeing that the name will live on) was a "happy" event.
Mrs Thatcher may also have been uncomfortable because she didn't see herself as conforming to the stereotype of a grandmother. An Amazon bestriding the world stage and confronting the "evil empire" of the Soviet Union didn't want to be thought of as a sweet little lady snoozing by the fireside, did she? And, anyway, back then, grannies were naff. Remember those excruciating glamorous granny competitions? These were invented in post-war British holiday resorts such as Butlins and quickly became a staple of village fetes here, there and everywhere.
They still feature occasionally at rural festivals - though knobbly-knees contests for men seem to have gone completely out of fashion.
But grandmothers (along with everything else) have had a makeover. Now that older women are using L'Oréal and looking "Jane Fonda gorgeous at 70", grannies really can be glamorous. Perhaps they are taking the advice of the poet Jenny Joseph:
"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple/ With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,/ And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves/ And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter."
A few years ago the people behind Granny Smith apples carried out a survey in Britain to find the public's "most glamorous granny". And the winner was? Er. . . Jackie Adams. Never heard of her? Apparently she's "Victoria Beckham's Mum" and "nana" to the three little celeboys: Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz. Ms Adams beat HM The Queen, if you don't mind, into a very distant second place.
Other names to feature in the Top 10 included two fictional women, Audrey Roberts and Peggy Mitchell from the soaps Coronation Streetand EastEndersrespectively. But there's no arguing with the real, live, glamour quotient of Shirley Bassey and Joan Collins, who also featured in the list. And it was nice to see one Irish woman make the grade: Gloria Hunniford.
Here in Ireland, RTÉ has boosted the image of grandmothers by featuring a story-line in Fair Citywhich sees a popular character called Carol become granny to "little Lorcan" who is (surprise, surprise) "only gorgeous". But the really big news on the granny front is that the Duchess of Cornwall is to become one. Grannies everywhere will be delighted by the news, reported by the Daily Telegraph, of such a glamorous addition to their ranks.
It's a dream development for Camilla's PR team, because grannies get the sort of uncritical and adulatory press that politicians and most "celebrities" can only dream about. For most of the past half-century the most famous grandmother in the world was Britain's late Queen Mother and woe betide the journalist who dared to criticise her. Even mocking possibly the worst "pop" song ever recorded is fraught with difficulty since it was associated with her and remains hugely popular. You may recall it: "Grandma, we love you/ Grandma, we do./ Though you may be far away,/ We think of you. /There's no one quite like Grandma/ And I know you will agree/ That she always is a friend to you/ And she's a friend to me." And so on, and sickeningly on, went the unbearably saccharine voices of the St Winifred's School Choir.
Tom Parker Bowles (32), the son of the duchess, is the proud father-to-be. He told the Telegraphthat his wife Sarah Buys (34) is expecting their first child and added: "Mummy is absolutely over the moon at the prospect of being a grandmother."
"Mummy" hasn't said a word. She never does - which is why she's the best thing to have happened to the British Royal family since they exiled the ghastly Wallis Simpson and the Wimp of Windsor to the south of France.
Although she is currently "off-duty", and recuperating at Clarence House following a hysterectomy operation at London's King Edward VII Hospital, it is unlikely Camilla will celebrate quietly by instructing a lady-in-waiting to knit bootees by the fireside. After all, this is a woman once described as capable of leaping straight from the saddle and into a ball-gown - in one swift movement - after a day riding to hounds. She is expected to be back in action soon.
Grandmothers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your blue rinse. Get out the old frocks and rocks, glam yourselves up and join her. It's party time! And the girls at St Winifred's had better dust off those old song sheets.