An Irishman's Diary

THREE YEARS in to the debt crisis, a number of bewildered readers have pleaded for an updated plain man’s guide to the jargon. Here’s a recap of some of the best-known terms, with a few newer ones thrown in.

Adjustment: Budgetary measure formerly known as "cut".

Austerity: New reality towards which the various adjustments are adjusting us.

Bailout: What many Government ministers did – wisely – prior to the last general election. (See Soft Landing).

Boston-Berlin: The axis of two cities that traditionally defined the direction of Irish economic policy at any given time. Prior to the crisis, successive governments aimed to move us closer to Boston. Unfortunately, due to a misreading of flight-instruments, we ended up in Berlin, having our budget plans pre-vetted by the Bundestag. (See also Corrigan, Wrong-way).

Bunga Bunga: Elaborate form of debt relief, formerly popular in Italy.

Call date: Date when repayment of a bond or other debt is due. Also, name given to worker in Italian Bunga Bunga industry.

Can: Tin food container popular as metaphor with economists, especially when they accuse political leaders of "kicking it further down the road" as an alternative to making hard decisions.

Can Summit: Major recent political gathering in the south of France; scene of world can-kicking championships.

Can, yes we: Something Barack Obama doesn't say so much any more. (That's enough cans – Ed)

Corner: Place where streets converge – once popular when combined with the verb "to turn", as a political metaphor for perceived improvements in the economy. The usage has recently fallen into disuse in Ireland. (See Jennifer Lopez)

Corrigan, Wrong-Way: Pilot who took off from New York bound for California in 1938 and ended up in Ireland "by mistake". He had been earlier sought permission for a transatlantic flight and been refused, however. So the suspicion remains that, unlike Irish governments during the boom years, he knew what he was doing.

Diallo, Nafissatou: Name of New York hotel maid whose allegations led to Dominique Strauss-Khan being kicked down the road.

Greek tragedy: The misfortune arising from overuse of the term "Greek tragedy" to describe everything unfortunate that now happens in Athens.

Group of Debt: Phrase predicted to become even more hackneyed than "Greek Tragedy" if Ireland get drawn with any two of Greece, Portugal, and Italy at Euro 2012.

Jennifer Lopez: Name used by stock market analysts to describe the curve of a price reaching a long-drawn-out and rounded bottom before slowly rising again. Unlikely to be appearing in Ireland anytime soon.

Monti, Mario: New Italian prime minister; not to be confused with The Man from Del Monte.

Monti, the full: A type of burlesque entertainment in which a government strips itself of politicians to raise funds for charity.

Quantitive Easing: The process whereby the number of economists appearing on Irish TV shows is increased indefinitely, in the hope that the country can talk its way out of the crisis, even at the risk of rampant ego-inflation.

Soft Landing: Widely misinterpreted as a phrase predicting that the economic downturn would be gentle, as in Bertie Ahern's April 2007 comment when he still foresaw a "soft landing". In fact, the then taoiseach was referring to his proposed purchase of a new shag-pile carpet for the first-floor corridor of Government Buildings, where he was standing at the time. The plan was later cancelled due to national bankruptcy.

Standard & Poor: Adjectives describing the two main types of judgment exercised by ratings agencies when assessing the sub-prime mortgage packages that started the whole mess in the first place.

Technocrat: Intellectual serving as emergency cabinet minister and perceived to be above party-political interests or bunga bunga.

Tier-1 Capital: Something we only hear about when the banks are in trouble. Hence the wisdom of our parents when they warned: "It'll all end in tiers".

Two-speed euro zone: Possible medium-term solution to the euro zone crisis, whereby leaders of periphery states would kick the can down the road in the slow-lane, while Germany, France, and the Benelux countries would use the outer lane and kick it faster.

Tranche: French word, meaning "slice", now popular as a euphemism for describing each instalment of Ireland's bail-out funding.

Troika: Russian word, meaning "trio", used to describe the EU/ECB/IMF representatives who supervise the conditions under which we receive our tranches.

Verboten: German word, meaning "forbidden". As in: "I'm sorry, Herr Noonan, but it is verboten to burn any bold-holders – unless you want to kiss goodbye to this here tranche."

Weltschmerz: Another German word, referring to the ineffable sadness brought on when contemplating the evils of the world, or when wondering what the men of 1916 died for.