Taoiseach, I want to make it plain that I support Government policy with the same unquestioning and unwavering loyalty that I have displayed down the years, writes Kevin Myers.
I remain a devoted Minister and a proud member of your Cabinet, and I want to make it plain that certain remarks of mine have been taken out of context and deliberately misinterpreted by malicious elements in the media.
When I said that I opposed the closing of parts of Nenagh Hospital, and would set fire to Drumcondra if the Hanly report were implemented, some observers have taken to this to mean that I was opposed to Government policy. Nothing could be further from the truth. As always, I support you 120 per cent, to the last follicle of my being, and the final molar of my mouth.
However, Taoiseach, I do wonder why we should accept the opinions of unelected consultants such as Hanly. He doesn't have to go from door to door looking for voters. He doesn't have to sit in the counting centres, through count after count after count. He doesn't have to run constituency clinics every weekend of his life. He doesn't have to listen to a litany of complaints about drainage, and the local bus-service, and street lighting.
What right has he, with no democratic mandate, to tell us how we should run our hospital service? Granted, he has to get up early in the morning. But Taoiseach, how can this fellow be presenting a radio show from seven in the morning and then spend the rest of the day telling us how to run our hospitals? Not merely that, he has taken to giving us lectures us on how to pronounce French cities. Lawnce, indeed.
That doesn't mean that I don't support you and the Government I am privileged to serve in - 120 per cent. Moreover, as a Cabinet Minister, I am fully committed to the agreed policy and decisions of the Government. Accordingly, I am 120 per cent committed to the principles of the Hanly recommendations.
Needless to say, it is the practice of those recommendations which I have disputed in the past. Certain media commentators have suggested that this necessary airing of differences of interpretation are deep differences of opinion. They are nothing of the kind, Taoiseach. In a free society, free speech is the most precious commodity that we have - apart, that is, from Nenagh Hospital, which I stand by 100 per cent, Taoiseach, just as I stand by our overall health strategy.
So let me reiterate again, Taoiseach, my support for you and Hanly, in every detail and in every application, in principle and in practice, except where it applies to my constituency. This unqualified support is demanded of me by my position in the Government, of which I am a proud and loyal member.
I give that support without any reservation, provided that you leave Nenagh Hospital alone. Collective responsibility means nothing unless the Cabinet can stand shoulder to shoulder defending unpopular decisions - which I for one am happy to do, once the future of Nenagh Hospital is assured.
If we agree on that, and I see no reason why we shouldn't, is there any reason why Nenagh shouldn't be actually upgraded, and made the National Centre of Medical Research? That being the case, is there any reason it should not also be the major oncology, heart, obstetric and paediatric centre for the entire Midlands? Moreover, the central principle of Hanly is to avoid duplication. We all agree on that - but this doesn't mean we should reinforce neglect.
Since the Midlands region has no medical school, Nenagh would be the logical place to open one up - possibly at the expense of Limerick University. The funding for this could come from the closure of Tallaght Hospital, and the unification and relocation of the Mater and St Vincent's to the large green-field site on the Nenagh-Borrisokane Road.
This would, of course, mean upgrading the road and rail network to Nenagh, and opening an Army barracks near the town, for purely strategic purposes, you understand. I suggest that the new National Space Centre could also be located in the immediate region, preferably on the Borrisoleigh road.
Which brings us, of course, to the question of a second airport for Dublin. With all the infrastructure going into the region, it makes sense to have the new Dublin airport on the Nenagh-Roscrea Road, with a high-speed metro linking it to the capital, and perhaps at a later date, Paris.
Logically, a Disneyland should follow - perhaps later, a St Tropez as well, on Lough Derg. No topless girls, though Taoiseach; North Tipperary, thought it moves with the times, would never allow that, thanks be to God and His Blessed Mother.
Next, the Abbey Theatre. Its present northside site in Dublin is clearly unsuitable. Most theatre-goers are on the southside, and so is Nenagh. And since we'll have the metro, the DART, LUAS, mainline trains and an airport, getting to and from the new Abbey should be no longer be a problem.
It's true at the moment that Nenagh lacks the nightlife which theatre-goers expect; perhaps the forcible Nenaghfication of Temple Bar and a few good restaurants - Guilbaud's, Thornton's, L'Écrivain - would sort that problem out.
Taoiseach, I'm only too glad to take this opportunity to reassure you once again of my wholehearted commitment to government by Cabinet, and to the shared burdens of unselfish collective responsibility, particularly with regard to Hanly. Moreover, I do so in the utter certainty that, as always, you'll do absolutely nothing whatever about it.
Sincerely, Michael.