IF THE Easter Proclamation had been written by lawyers instead of poets:
Irishmen and Irishwomen: In the name of God and of the dead generations from which she receives her old tradition of nationhood, our client (hereinafter called "Ireland"), through us, subpoenas her children to attend the general vicinity of the flag, forthwith or immediately (whichever is sooner); and strikes for her freedom.
We are instructed that, having organised and trained her manhood through her secret revolutionary organisation (which shall be referred to as the "Irish Republican Brotherhood", although that may or may not be its real name, and either way, nothing in this document should be taken as confirmation that any such grouping exists), and through her open and perfectly legal military organisations, the Irish Volunteers and the Irish Citizen Army; having patiently perfected her discipline; having resolutely waited for the right moment to reveal itself; she now seizes that moment.
We are further instructed that, supported by her exiled children in America and by gallant allies in Europe, but relying in the first on her own strength, in case her allegedly gallant allies think better of becoming joint parties in this action, she strikes in full confidence of victory; or failing victory, in the confidence that any reasonable jury will subsequently acquit.
Our client submits that the right of the people of Ireland to the ownership of Ireland, and to the unfettered control of Irish destinies, is sovereign and indefeasible. The long usurpation of that right, res ipsa loquitor, by a foreign people and government (hereinafter called the "defendant") has not extinguished the right, nor can it ever be extinguished except by the destruction of the Irish people.
In every generation the Irish people have asserted their right to national freedom and sovereignty: we refer you to the cases of O'Neill v Bagenal (1598); McCracken v the Crown (1798); Bold Fenian Men v Britannia (1867), et al. Six times during the last three hundred years they have asserted it in arms; although we would stress that none of the signatories of this document was present on any of those previous occasions, and all can produce alibis, if necessary.
Standing on that fundamental right and again asserting it in arms in the face of the world, our client hereby proclaims the Irish Republic as a Sovereign Independent State, and pledges her life and the lives of her comrades-in-arms to the cause of its freedom, of its welfare, of its exaltation among the nations, and of its right to use capital letters on the phrase "Sovereign Independent State" for no good reason.
The Irish Republic guarantees religious and civil liberty, equal rights and equal opportunities to all its citizens. However, in common with all guarantees, this is subject to conditions. Citizens contemplating litigation against the future Republic are advised to familiarise themselves with Appendix I of this document (available on request from our offices), particularly pages 19-42, which detail certain exceptions to the warranty.
The Republic further declares its "resolve" - citizens should note that this is aspirational and non-binding - to pursue the happiness and prosperity of the whole nation and all of its parts, cherishing all the children of the nation equally and oblivious of the differences carefully fostered by an alien government, which have divided a minority from the majority in the past.
Without prejudice to existing insurance policies undertaken in the secular sphere, our client hereby places the cause of the Irish Republic under the protection of the Most High God, Whose blessing she invokes upon her arms, and she prays that no one who serves that cause will dishonour it by cowardice, inhumanity, rapine, or anything else that would invalidate the policies aforementioned.
In this supreme hour the Irish nation must, by its valour and discipline and by the readiness of its children to sacrifice themselves for the common good, prove itself worthy of the august destiny to which it is called.
However, our client would like to point out that when she refers to "children", both here and in paragraph two above, she does not mean people under 18. We are instructed that "children" is a poetic term: meaning in this context "adults", preferably male and with weapons training. Further to paragraph two, our client urges parents to keep minors well away from the flag, now and until further notice, and regrets any confusion caused by her summons.
The Republic accepts no liability for personal injury, loss of property, theft, or damage arising from this Rising. Past performance may not be a guide to future returns, but military experts have advised us that it probably is. Therefore, notwithstanding the name given to this event, participants are advised that their fortunes may fall as well as rise.
Signed on Behalf of the Provisional Government.
Thomas J. Clarke, Sean Mac Diarmada, Thomas MacDonagh, P.H. Pearse, Eamonn Ceannt, James Connolly, Joseph Plunket, Solicitors at Law.