Inappropriate words from well-meaning people do not help to heal the hurt of the families of murder victims who are neglected by the State, writes Lillian McGovern
On a quiet Saturday afternoon last March, 150 strangers gathered in the Coach House of Dublin Castle. They had come from every part of the country for the same reason - to remember their deceased loved ones.
However, this was not a normal memorial service. It was the first commemoration of those who had died as a result of murder. The event was organised by a group of family members who felt it was essential to allow grieving mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers and sisters to share their common experience of tragedy.
Quite deliberately, there was no fanfare surrounding this event. There was no media presence to highlight their stories, no politician to talk of promises. And, above all, there were no words of anger or revenge. This was a quiet and dignified occasion.
I was privileged to address this large gathering on behalf of Victim Support. Without doubt, this was the most difficult speaking engagement I have ever undertaken. The grief in the Coach House was palpable. One could see, hear and almost touch the anguish and despair.
The experience of loss is part of the human condition. All of us must adjust to the emptiness that results from bereavement. This process is eased if the reason for the death can be understood, whether it resulted from disease, an accident or simply the passage of time.
For those bereaved through murder, the search for explanation is painful and protracted. Sometimes an answer is never found. Coming to terms with a loss that has been inflicted deliberately shakes one's confidence in the world. One father described it as "a life sentence of hell on earth".
While words cannot replace a lost son or husband, sometimes they are all we can offer as consolation for what will always remain unjustifiable and inexplicable.
The events of the past week surrounding the recommendation that Malcolm Macarthur be transferred to an open prison have emphasised the special needs of the families of murder victims.
Victim Support does not comment on specific cases. But it is a matter of public record that the family of Donal Dunne was quoted last week as saying: "It is difficult to describe the pain and anguish felt by families in coping with the aftermath of crime. In our case, we received no support whatsoever from the State. We were not aware that the State were not going to proceed with Donal's case until the judge announced it in court that morning." (Macarthur was not tried for the murder of Mr Dunne 20 years ago because he had pleaded guilty to the murder of Ms Bridie Gargan).
Research conducted by Victim Support has shown that the consequences of murder cascade down the generations and ripple out across communities. Spouses, parents, children, grandparents, neighbours and friends can all be affected.
Sometimes the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder are present. These include distressing memories, reliving the experience, avoiding places or people associated with the traumatic event, anger and difficulty in concentrating. Some family members have experienced depression and suicidal feelings. The consequences for bereaved children can be terrible, leading to domestic, educational and social difficulties.
The trial is a time of considerable stress. Family members are unsure of their role, frightened of meeting the accused, unaware of the legal niceties of courtroom procedure, exhausted by the slow pace of justice.
It is of paramount importance that those affected by such tragedies are treated with dignity and respect. Justice must be seen to be done. Families are entitled to clear and accurate information. They need to be kept informed of all developments in their case. They have a right to be acknowledged, and it is time for the State and its agencies to take this responsibility more seriously.
The use of inappropriate words by seemingly well-meaning people does nothing to promote healing. Last Thursday's RTÉ Prime Time programme on the Macarthur case included a contributor who minimised the effects of murder on the victims by stating: "After all, they are in heaven now." A follow-up debate on the Joe Duffy programme on RTÉ Radio 1 the following day with the same contributor compounded this message.
This type of comment naturally gives rise to a very real and understandable anger and distress to the families of all murder victims and indeed to the public in general. This anger was very evident among those who telephoned the Joe Duffy show in response to the comments.
Victim Support works for victims of crime in Ireland. Over 500 volunteers give their time to help those affected by crime. They carry out this work simply because they care.
Victims' needs for information, acknowledgement and practical help are not impossible to satisfy. A willingness to listen and a real desire to respond are all that is necessary.
It is important to say that Victim Support is not anti-offender. It is not the case that the rights and needs of victims can only be addressed by focusing on the harsh treatment of offenders.
Victim Support's specific role is to provide the very necessary emotional and practical help to those affected by crime.
The responsibility for the treatment and management of offenders rests entirely with other agencies in the criminal justice system. Victim Support clearly has no role in this process other than bringing the victim perspective to bear.
However, there is a marked imbalance in the level of funding made available to deal with offenders and victims. The Irish Prison Service's expenditure for this year amounts to over €200 million while funding for Victim Support stands at just €1 million. This simple statistic is proof that we need to take a long hard look at how we care for our victims.
Lillian McGovern is chief executive officer of Victim Support and also a member of the Parole Board