DRAPIER: How Green are we all supposed to believe Ciaran Cuffe to be, whose substantial bequest he meticulously listed in his Oireachtas declaration of interest, to the manifest delight of Drapier's colleague, Shane Ross. The Trinity senator and business journalist was delighted with his double hit last weekend. A news scoop and a political bull's-eye!
The Green Party is in shock and anger over the manner and the revelation of Cuffe's behaviour. Patricia McKenna, the Dublin Green MEP - who herself knows how to emit fire and brimstone - could not contain herself with John Gormley, chairman of the Greens, last Monday in Leinster House.
Young Cuffe - incidentally he is 40 years old, a founder member of the party, a public representative on Dublin City Council for 12 years and a veteran of three general elections - was cute enough to move his massive share portfolio from the Allfirst Bank, Baltimore, to a more efficient finance house. But professional environmentalist that he is and college lecturer in planning, he chose not to remove from that same portfolio the lethal cocktail of shares in corporate environmental thugs.
The Greens are not only embarrassed but also seriously damaged by these revelations. When they line up to oppose the outcome on the Convention on Europe and campaign against the constitutional treaty for the enlarged European Union their soft ex-Fine Gael middle-class support will scurry elsewhere in a massive democratic exodus.
Mind you Enda Kenny, Pat Rabbitte and Trevor Sargent should not get excited too quickly about the way the media have turned against the Soldiers of Destiny and their commanding officers, the Progressive Democrats.
Sir Anthony's stable of stallions is trampling over the failures and betrayals of this one-year-old majority Coalition. He may even allow the gallop to continue up to the European and local elections of 2004 so that public humiliation and political punishment are the order of the day.
But Bertie knows that Sir Anthony, with the intimate help of P.J. Mara's advice and some thoroughly British assistance from the stable of Rupert Murdoch, will soon put a stop to that righteous gallop.
When the friendly season is over and the political championship of the next general election begins in earnest in 2006, both Sir Anthony and Rupert know the real value of the tax breaks given by Bertie and Charlie McCreevy over the years.
So who is off to Brussels as Ireland's next commissioner? Despite all the protestations, Drapier knows that some Cabinet Ministers would dearly like to migrate to the lucrative pastures of the mainland. Micheál Martin deserves rescue at this stage. It would be an act of mercy for the first Minister for Health in the country to have successfully managed to transform financial abundance into an ongoing medical crisis.
Alternatively, the Taoiseach could clear the way for a necessary U-turn on macroeconomic policy by promoting Charlie McCreevy to bring the Boston/Berlin debate right into the heart of Brussels. But either option involves a choice and the making of a decision, so the safe money is on neither, which means that David Byrne will probably remain in Brussels.
One of Drapier's old friends and adversaries was having a "go" at the spin doctors around the Taoiseach last weekend. Incompetent and politically naïve was his assessment. But who are they and how much do they cost the taxpayer to spin, twist and distort on behalf of our Kinsealy successor?
Well, there are four special advisers and one programme manager. Gerry Hickey, ex-Department of Finance and ex-Department of Marine, now ex-private sector, is the programme manager. The Gang of Four are Gerry Howlin, Una Claffey, Joe Lennon and Brian Murphy. That is how they are listed in the IPA Yearbook. Una, ex-Labour Party member and ex-RTE political correspondent, is the one non-ex-civil servant.
The others, including Joe Lennon, brother of the beleaguered ASTI general secretary, Charlie, was previously a professional civil servant and press secretary to the government of 1997-2002. The other two lads are also of the Civil Service. Their combined payroll and operating costs and expenses, including taxis home after a long day spinning, is close to €1 million a year.
But these costs do not include the Communications Unit or the back-up provided by the ex-Fianna Fáil, now Government Press Secretary, Mandy Johnston. Drapier does not know if they are to be affected by the benchmarking process, but it is not bad money in anyone's book.
Now here is a game you can all play at home. Round one: name the Ministers of State, yes, all 17 of them. Round two: match the name with the position that they have - Drapier would not really call it a job. Round three: (if you do need a tie-breaker) identify the recycled ex-cabinet ministers.
When you have finished scratching your head and are short on some of the personalities who happen to be lucky office-holders, ponder this. The combined salary, before the cost of the office of the Minister of State, including the two private drivers (one week on, one week off) and the generous mileage allowance and operational expenses, is €111,000 per Minister of State per annum.
Drapier does not begrudge the office-holder the honour of the job or the possibility of making a small difference as a junior minister, but he does wonder how long will his able and anxious friends on the Fianna Fáil back benches have to wait before they get a chance to climb the greasy pole.