THE MAGPIE: IN BELGIUM, a judge sentenced a dead man to eight months in prison when he did not show up in court.
Joey Van den Broeck (21) had been charged with assaulting his girlfriend and resisting arrest. But he subsequently died in hospital after a car crash.
A spokesman for Antwerp court said: "Unfortunately, he had been summoned to appear in court shortly before for beating up his girlfriend. When he didn't show up, the case went ahead without him. We didn't know about his death or the case would have expired."
This brings to mind another favourite case of Magpie, where a dead man was actually arrested.
In January 1906, a splendid funeral ceremony in Hongo, Japan, to bury the remains of Tarofi, the head of a gambling den, was stopped by police, as the dead man was believed to be an escaped convict. This was found to be true, and the body was taken to the prison burial ground.
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A New Zealand man is facing up to five years in prison after he was accused of assaulting a teenager with a hedgehog.
Police allege that William Singalargh (27) picked up the hedgehog and threw it at the youth (15), hitting him on the leg and causing a large, red welt and several puncture marks.
Mr Singalargh was arrested and charged with assault with a weapon - "namely the hedgehog", according to Sgt Bruce Jenkins.
Mr Singalargh's lawyer said he intended to plead innocent.
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A foul-mouthed British parrot, who once told a vicar to f*** off, has been teaching other birds how to swear.
Barney's most shocking outburst was when he told a mayor, a vicar and two police officers to "f*** off" and called them "w******" when they visited Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary in Nuneaton.
Despite attempts by a language specialist to curb the seven-year-old macaw's filthy language, he has refused to change his ways. And now, according to the sanctuary's owner, Geoff Crewcock, Barney has been teaching obscene words to two other parrots at the centre.
The three birds "just sit there swearing at each other now, all kinds of foul language - it's unbelievable", he said.
magpie@irish-times.ie