There was a charming innocence about Charity You're a Star, writes Vincent Browne. Amateurs doing their party pieces, little ego-strutting (at least not on the part of the competitors) - and all in aid of charities. But there was a political dimension to it which was troubling.
But first back to the charm. Wasn't there something delightful about John Aldridge squirming his way woefully through song after song, unable to sing, his left thumb stuck in his trouser pocket? As Linda Martin said repeatedly, "What a charming man!" Actually, he turned out better as a performer, however much he hated it and however slight his singing talent, than as a footballer. And that comment is not intended to belittle him as a footballer, for he was probably the best striker that ever played for Ireland or, come to think of it, Liverpool.
The gauche TG4 weatherman turned out to be normal, having earlier given a fine impression of an anal Gaeilgeoir. Ditto Aine Ní Dhroighneáin. Kathryn Thomas seemed normal and enchanting throughout. And the politicians were great: Billy Kelleher, Frank Feighan, Dan Boyle and Michael McCarthy. When last could one say that of a bunch of TDs and senators? The "cop-out" on doing YMCA in the final programme was disappointing.
But, but, but, but . . .
This primarily was a TV entertainment show but it was dressed up as a charity event as well, and viewers were urged to vote for their favourite contestants in part by the incentive that a portion of the cost of each call would go to the charity represented by the contestant.
Three of the contestants were representing children's hospitals. John Aldridge was there for Temple Street Children's Hospital; Gail Kaneswaren for Our Lady's Hospital for Sick Children, in Crumlin; and the Fair City duo Una Crawford-O'Brien and Bryan Murray for the National Children's Hospital, in Tallaght.
In one film-clip, John Aldridge was shown visiting Temple Street and seeing a sick baby on a life-support machine. He was told by one of the doctors that the hospital urgently needed a CAT-scan machine, so that badly injured children who were rushed to the hospital would not then have to be brought to Beaumont Hospital for a CAT-scan before they could discover the nature of the injuries.
Temple Street provides acute paediatric services and specialist paediatric healthcare for children from all over Ireland, according to the hospital's website, which says it "has always relied on the generous voluntary support from individuals and companies to assist it in the purchase of vital equipment and to help establish and fund research". It says its priorities are "to enhance, develop and fund new equipment, new technology and new medical specialities within all areas of the hospital".
Why? Why isn't the State paying for this? We have loads of money in the Exchequer - why aren't basic services provided, even for acutely ill children? Why does Temple Street Children's Hospital rely on charity events and John Aldridge to acquire elementary hospital equipment and facilities?
The same goes for Our Lady's Hospital for Sick Children, Crumlin and the National Children's Hospital, Tallaght. If they require equipment and/or other facilities, why can't they get them? What's this charity stuff? Why do these hospitals depend on charity for the elementary care of sick children? By what order of perverted priority does the elementary care of sick children rate further down a priority list than, for instance, (to take an old chestnut) the purchase of Farmleigh House for £22 million (yes, pounds), or new Mercedes cars and BMWs to ferry ministers around, or the subsidising of third-level education for rich kids, or the artists' tax exemption or the myriad of other tax breaks, or the payment of hundreds of thousands per year to part-time hospital consultants? Ditto the other children's hospitals. Why do they have to depend on charity events for the funding of their services for sick children? What is going on here? Why is the State not providing the funding they need?
Aine Ní Dhroighneáin was said to be singing for Cancer Care West. According to its website, it is a registered charity, based at University College Hospital, Galway. Its aim is to enhance patient and family care initiatives for people living with cancer in the west of Ireland. Why isn't the State providing these facilities? Why should it be reliant on voluntary donations and charity? The same goes for the Irish Hospice Foundation, for which the politicians were singing.
I understand there were 300,000 calls to the Charity You're A Star programme on Sunday night and some 150,000 on Saturday night. These raised about €150,000 for the charities - a pittance. I wonder did the 600,000-plus viewers get the vibe about the absurdity of such needy and pressing causes being reliant on phone calls to a television show? How many thought: what an appalling political system we have that leaves such needs to such vagaries?