If you have it, flaunt it

There has been a great deal of approving comment in the British papers of late following the request by the headmaster of Eton…

There has been a great deal of approving comment in the British papers of late following the request by the headmaster of Eton College that students' parents should not use the annual Fourth of June school celebrations as an occasion for corporate hospitality.

The headmaster, John Lewis, is apparently concerned that the high point of the school's calendar provides parents with the opportunity for "competitive picnicking" where they can show off before their friends and business contacts in impressive surroundings.

It seems that in recent years some parents had begun to hire more and more elaborate tents and mini-marquees put up in the Eton grounds by commercial contractors.

It is not surprising that the British media have so resoundingly applauded the headmaster's stance. They have been well trained in the past decade to deride instantly anything which has even the faintest sniff of snobbery, to look down on any display of wealth, however acquired, and in general to remind the upper classes that they really are no better than journalists, who, of course, would never accept an invitation to a sponsor's marquee.

READ MORE

None of these articles suggested there might be something snobbish about Eton itself, with its quaint uniform, its very substantial fees (approximately £15,000 sterling per annum) and its exclusiveness. Nor did any commentator see anything snobbish in the letter Mr Lewis sent to his pupils' parents regarding the controversial entertainment, telling them: "This is the reverse of an encouragement."

No: Eton is an age-old British institution, and it may not be attacked in itself (even when it has slipped from fourth to 18th place in the British independent schools league). But the British media reserve the right to comment on what kind of hospitality the parents of Etonians should be allowed to dispense on this private school's annual celebration day.

It is of course very easy to laugh at stories of the games of one-upmanship played by parents when given the opportunity on school sports days and the like.

Even more comical, however, are the knots people tie themselves in while attempting to show how modest their own school picnicking efforts are when compared with others.

In the London Times the other day, a former Harrow mother, Barbara Croft-Bennett, recalled how some parents used to bring the family silver - "or hired silver. They were very nouveau: bookmakers' Rollers and rather higher heels than are sensible for walking on grass."

Oh dear. And her own efforts?

"The food was gourmet standard but it was served on paper plates, and we had chilled white wine rather than champagne, which I think is undrinkable at a picnic."

Quite. But do you see how difficult things can be? So many things to remember - but of course it's all in the breeding.

Despite having a number of long-established and rather expensive private schools in this State, we fall down rather badly when it comes to putting on a good show on sports days and the like.

Again, of course, it is all a question of breeding. Disappointingly, modesty seems to prevail, even among those known to be filthy rich. Little research has been done, but it must be tremendously embarrassing (and possibly traumatic in the long term) for a young student to see his parents arrive on sports day in a modest BMW, no more expensive that that driven by his friend Spottiswoode's parents, who are known to be not half so wealthy.

How are these young people, the cream of the country, going to establish a proper pecking order in society in years to come if this is the depressingly egalitarian example given by their parents?

When parents of very different monetary status then proceed to haul out from their car boots almost identical coolboxes containing almost identical Marks and Spencer picnics, surely even more damage is being done to the social fabric.

With so much money flowing in the country, it is time we redefined terms like "vulgar" and "gaudy" and "showy" and encouraged our people, young and old, to express themselves in direct level to their income. (Our dotcom millionaires, with their casual ways and dressed-down image, are not giving good example in this area.)

With school sports days coming up, we can make a start on the playing fields. Perhaps some parents might start the batting, so to speak, by turning up in a good old-fashioned (but brand new) Roller, and ditch the coolbox for a proper picnic basket.

bglacken@irish-times.ie