THE FIRST comprehensive opinion poll of the behaviour and attitudes of Irish men today, published in The Irish Timesthis week, belies many of the prevailing views about their lives.
If we are to believe the stereotype of men's position in society, it is something akin to a lost tribe facing a crisis of identity, trying to navigate its way through the choppy waters of social upheaval. Record numbers of women in the workforce and better academic performance by girls have usurped the traditional status of men as the main breadwinner. The advancement of the equality agenda has left many confused and disorientated, not knowing what their role is in the new social order. Or so the theory goes.
On the contrary, however, men emerge from this poll as being overwhelmingly happy with their lot. The great majority are very satisfied with their lives as a whole, their love life and home life, and with their ability to protect and care for their loved ones. Far from facing a crisis of identity, large majorities of men are eager to play a greater role in the family and share the role of child-rearing and housework with their wives and partners.
All signs are that men have cast aside the traditional shackles of masculinity and embraced a new role within the family. An overwhelming majority want more flexible working conditions which would allow them to get involved in childcare. They seem comfortable, too, with what might be described as their feminine side. They are open about their love for their wives and girlfriends and children; emotionally they are in touch with their feelings, with most, for example, admitting that it is acceptable for men to cry in public.
Yet, at the same time, there are signs of unease with the way society is evolving and their place in it. Many feel the future is likely to be brighter for girls rather than boys. There is concern that the political system is skewed more towards women than men. There is something approaching anger that single men do not have equal rights with single women regarding their children. And a large proportion of men feel they are treated unfairly in the family courts.
It is ironic that, despite a political sphere which is overwhelmingly male-dominated, we have not heard many of these voices or concerns before. These are issues which, in time, the political system will need to address if we are to pursue the notion of true equality of the sexes.
Overall, this poll helps to shed valuable light on men's real attitudes and to challenge many of the stereotypes surrounding men's behaviour. The tensions that arise reflect the reality that family life is more complicated today, and that men - and women - face more choices than previous generations. But it is greatly encouraging to see men feeling satisfied with their lives and embracing their role in families. It demonstrates that social change is not necessarily threatening to men's role in the world. If handled well, it offers the possibility of making men's lives richer and fuller than they ever were in the past.