Sir, – As we near Valentine’s Day, I can’t help but notice that capitalism has hijacked this tradition. It seems that one can’t mark this day on the cheap without being labelled unromantic. As a couples and family clinician, I would ask a couple what you actually like about one another and concentrate on it? Remember Valentine’s Day is no big deal. Love is for 365 days a year, not just for one day. I believe that if one’s love is authentic, then you should above all, be authentic. That’s the real meaning of romance, not a candlelit dinner with champagne, or even, for that matter, a quarter-pounder with cheese for two.
Valentine’s Day is so commercialised that the day itself is more like a punitive tax than a tribute to love.
I believe a truly romantic gesture should ideally be spontaneous but it is impossible to organise spontaneity by definition. So, failing that, the most romantic thing you can give to your partner is time or thought, neither of which can be bought. To take time out from one’s busy schedule to go for a walk with your partner is romantic.
To do a chore they know you hate and do it well is romantic. To write a well-considered love letter on proper paper, with ink and pen is even better. It doesn’t have to be beautifully crafted. It just has to be sincere. – Yours, etc,
JOHN O’BRIEN,
Clinical Psychotherapist,
Clonmel,
Co Tipperary.
