Sir, – Besides Samuel Beckett’s disputed Insult 24: The Cream of Ireland: Rich and Thick (Frank McNally’s Irishman’s Diary March 15th Terence Brown, March 17th), he also penned Insults 197-204: Vladimir: Moron! Estragon: Vermin! Vladimir: Abortion! Estragon: Morpion! Vladimir: Sewer-rat! Estragon: Curate! Vladimir: Cretin! Estragon: Crritic! (Waiting for Godot, Act 2). 205. You’re not as good as your father and he was no good either! (Heard on Hill 16, Croke Park.) 206. Contact J Rabbitte. Rednecks and Southsiders need not apply. (Roddy Doyle’s The Commitments.) – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 207. You’re as honest as Bertie Ahern. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 208. To think a mother would rear a child like that – and we living this close to the river. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 209. He is as odd as £9-note. 210. “He is on the Connie dodgers today” (To a colleague in Cork circa 1977: a reference to the biscuits people would eat to get round bishop Con Lucey’s advocacy of fast and abstinence on a Friday). – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 211. Curse of the seven snotty orphans on you. 212. He’s only fit for answering the Rosary. 213. She’s a right eye fiddle. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 214. There’s 14 liars in this town and he’s 13 of them! – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 215. Thick as the back of a ditch. – Yours, etc,
A chara, – 216. “I’d get as much of a reaction as I would from a field of thistles.” (The headmaster from Glengooley National School – D’Unbelievables). – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 217. Overheard in a public service canteen: “Tell me what’s yer man doing now?” “He’s a dosser.” “And tell me what grade is a dosser?” QED. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 218. Possibly the coarsest: “With all due respect, in the most unparliamentary language, f**k you Deputy Stagg. F**k you.” – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 219. The series “A History of Ireland in 100 Insults” shows how conscientiously you carry out your editorial duties. These are, as you know, to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to print the chaff. Well done! – Yours, etc,