Sir, - Ciaran O'Connell (October 15th) refers to Judith Wallerstein's book Second Chances, suggesting that the main conclusion was that the effects of divorce on children are frequently devastating and continue to be so for many years.
Dr Joan Kelly, who was co-author with Judith Wallerstein of Surviving the breakup: How children and parents cope with divorce (New York, Basic Books, 1980) presented her findings at a Relate Conference in 1994 to celebrate International Year of the Family.
She indicated that both divorce and remarriage can involve negative and positive life changes that can either undermine or promote the psychological and social wellbeing of children and their parents. The negative stereotype of being a "child of divorce" influences the child's own view and those with whom the child interacts.
It is also clear that any conflict within a marriage may affect the parent-child relationship. In looking at this, Dr Kelly stated that some evidence shows fathers withdraw more from their children during marriage under high-conflict conditions. This leads to behavioural difficulties in children.
Equally, a high level of conflict between parents after divorce may affect the relationship between children and parents. To simply state that the effects of divorce are frequently devastating is not justifiable without looking at factors existing both during marriage and after divorce.
Dr Kelly indicates that for some with consistent parental support, divorce can be initially stressful but ultimately "benign". The situation for children subjected to abuse and violence may even be improved. Certain conditions will dictate whether there is a level of harm and other conditions may create a beneficial outcome. These important factors include custody arrangements, the parenting skills of the parent with custody and ability to relate to the non-custodial parent, the level of conflict between parents, stress levels and economic conditions.
All parties need to reassess and renegotiate their position during and after separation and divorce. The family unit will have restructured itself into something which may initially be unrecognisable as the traditional family unit.
In its report entitled "Strengthening Families for Life", which was presented to the Minister for Social Community and Family Affairs in July, 1998, the Commission on the Family considered the definition of "family".
It concluded in its submission that Article 41 of the Constitution should be revised to give constitutional recognition to all family units, including families not based on marriage, while still providing protection for the institution of marriage. Such a proposal is to be welcomed if it goes some way to removing the negative stereotype referred to by Dr Kelly. - Yours, etc.,
Anne-Marie Blaney, Merrion Road, Dublin 4.