Army Claims And BMWs

Sir, - As a young man I spent some years in the FCA where I fired countless rounds from the Lee Enfield 303 and Bren guns

Sir, - As a young man I spent some years in the FCA where I fired countless rounds from the Lee Enfield 303 and Bren guns. I threw grenades and fired a few shots from Gustaf sub-machine guns. I slept on planks in Spike Island and leaky tents in Kilworth Camp. In the last few months I am almost convinced that my hearing is disappearing and that I have developed rheumatism in every joint. My only problem is that nothing would give me greater pleasure than to polish my buttons and boots again and to be given the honour to wear just once more the uniform that I and, I suspect, many more of my fellow citizens are so proud of. I simply enjoyed every second of the experience.Nowadays I drive a BMW and I don't seek out pedestrians to terrorise, I don't bolt from traffic lights and in fact I am not guilty of the charges laid against me by Kevin Myers.Could somebody please tell me where I have gone wrong? - Yours, etc.,Fergus Ahern,Knockvicar,Boyle,Co Roscommon.