Sir, – The leaks at the adultery website Ashley Madison merely confirm what family lawyers have known and have dealt with in more recent years. The revelation that about 115,000 Irish names form part of the hackers’ release from the Ashley Madison data comes as no surprise to this family lawyer.
It is with constant amazement and disbelief to see how people can be so trusting in sending information of a most private and intimate nature which then becomes public information shared forever in cyberspace.
In past times such intimations, thoughts and imaginings were simply that – now people press “send” and they become shared information.
The use of electronic communications to share the most intimate information is far more commonplace even than is highlighted by the Ashley Madison episode. The internet provides an immediate response to one’s indiscretion with another press of a send button – the response activated without any consideration of the consequences.
The Irish legal system in family law is not a punitive one. Only conduct of a gross and obnoxious nature warrants consideration when the court makes financial provision to the other spouse by way of compensation. Not all of the material on the Ashley Madison site – probably not even most of it – will fall into this category. Some undoubtedly will.
However the possibility of exposure of a spouse on the Ashley Madison website or some such other website is likely to seriously damage a marriage beyond the possibility of reconciliation given the enormity of the breach of trust and the certainty of the public embarrassment and humiliation involved.
The consequences of a secret desire, dream or pleasure sent online can be much more than a credit card charge. It can in fact be a life-changing event. – Yours, etc,
MARY HAYES,
Dublin 7.