Madam, - Before many of us spontaneously combust with excitement, please allow me space to dampen the hysteria being generated by the imminent maturing of the infamous SSIAs. With the maximum payout of about €20,000 one could:
1. Buy a modest - very modest - family car.
2. Put down a deposit of about 5 per cent on a very ordinary apartment in South Dublin (Carlow or Kraców will offer somewhat better value.)
3. Take a trip to Dundrum Shopping Centre and buy a few home- and wardrobe-enhancing items in two prestigious stores.
4. Host a dinner party - with drinks and wines (French, of course) - for 40 friends in our most highly regarded restaurant.
I could go on, Madam, but you regularly entreat us to keep our letters short. As a clever TD recently remarked: with SSIAs - like sex - anticipation may prove to be better than realisation. - Yours, etc,
KEN STANLEY,
Marshalstown,
Castledermot,
Co Kildare.