Divorce and the welfare of children

Sir, – Further to Breda O'Brien's "Making divorce easier will bring little benefit for children" (Opinion & Analysis, November 28th), I agree with her on one point, which is that our divorce laws are restrictive, demanding four years of separation.

What I absolutely must disagree with is her central thesis that delaying divorces will somehow benefit children. One Family’s experience of working with thousands of separating families and parents is the exact opposite. The current waiting time is inhumane, causing huge distress and expense to many families. Parents have described this waiting time as leaving them in limbo, unable to move on with their lives and extraordinarily stressed.

Divorce was passed in a referendum in Ireland on the second attempt and the long waiting time was introduced to appease conservative concerns. This time period is not based on what people actually need to live safe, secure lives. Services have never been put in place to support families to separate well, and despite many positive changes in the Children and Families Relationship Act 2014, there is still no provision for state-funded services to family law courts, such as family assessments, parenting programmes and child-contact centres.

As a country we have never really come to terms with the reality that marriages end, families separate and parents may need new skills to successfully share parenting post-separation. If we really want to benefit children whose parents separate or divorce, then we need to support the tens of thousands of families who share parenting and respond to reality not rhetoric. – Yours, etc,

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KAREN KIERNAN,

Chief Executive,

One Family,

Lower Pembroke Street,

Dublin 2.