Sir, – Breda O’Brien (Opinion, April 20th), writes of a child needing both “a mother and a father” as part of a stable environment in which to rear children. It has, however, long been upheld that more important than gender is the need for a “secure base” (Bowlby 1988). According to John Bowlby, a renowned British psychologist, infants form attachments to any consistent care-giver who is sensitive and responsive in social interactions with them. Although the biological mother has often traditionally been the principal attachment figure, the role can be taken by anyone who consistently behaves in a “mothering” or care-giving way over a period of time. In attachment theory, this means a set of behaviours that involves engaging in lively social interaction with the infant and responding readily to signals and approaches. Fathers or any other individuals, are equally likely to become principal attachment figures if they provide most of the child care and related social interaction.
What this suggests is that as long as a child’s attachment needs are met by one, two or more people, regardless of gender, they are enabled to grow into healthy secure adults. The attachment model suggests that the core outcomes of secure attachment are: a capacity to tolerate frustration and uncertainty; a sense of self as worthy of affection and respect; a capacity to relate to others with sensitivity and respect and a sense of personal agency. These outcomes are not gender specific. If a child living in a same-sex partnership needs an opposite sex role model this is very often found in friends, siblings, relatives or other key figures of the opposite sex. Going by Ms O’Brien’s article, the many single parents, separated/divorced parents and widowed parents already living in this country and who have children are doomed to failure. – Yours, etc,
JANE BAIRD,
Beaumont Woods,
Beaumont,
Dublin 9.
A chara, – Denis Looby (April 23rd) believes that Fintan O’Toole is a thoughtful man who has run out of patience (Opinion, April 16th). Thoughtful? Indeed: Mr O’Toole has thoughtfully adopted the tactic of labelling those he disagrees with as bigots. He is not the first to go with this strategy, which is intended to end the debate on the basis that no one need discuss anything with bigots.
As the debate isn’t over, the strategy clearly isn’t working. A more thoughtful tactic might be to drop the name-calling and patiently engage in actual dialogue. – Is mise,
Revd Fr PATRICK G
BURKE,
The Rectory,
Castlecomer, Co Kilkenny.