Sir, - I have a suggestion which could help take some of the fizz out of things, as the Northern Ireland people try to accept the changes that must happen before our society achieves normality. It came to me during a most irksome and infuriating wait while a robot on the phone detailed the various buttons I must press in a whole permutation of contingencies.
Why doesn't the Stormont government institute a phone service, featuring a voice which could intone: "For messages to individual members of the Assembly, if you wish to abuse Martin McGuinness, press star; if you wish to abuse Dr Paisley, press 1. . ." etc.
Upon pressing the requisite button, the caller would hear the member's voice for five seconds: "This is Martin McGuinness, hey; begin abusing me when you hear the tone. . ." - Yours, etc.,
Sam McAughtry, Copeland Crescent, Comber, Co Down.