Madam, – Regarding Louis Hogan’s “informal complaint” (July 19th), may I add a couple of my own “sensitivities”? When purchasing a car a couple of years ago the dealer registered the car in my name with the title “Mrs”. I am not and have never been married, yet he made this assumption about my title based, I have to assume, on my age and the fact that I was keeping company (and buying a car) with a man a few years older than me and our daughter.
When purchasing washing machines, or any other domestic items of this nature I have on all occasions over the last 20 years or so been addressed verbally and in writing as “Mrs”. I have never been asked for my title. I’ve been a parent and in receipt of a children’s allowance payment for almost 21 years now. Many, many years ago I tried in vain to get the relevant authorities to stop addressing me as Miss. They couldn’t cope with that, it seemed, and just ignored my requests. Eventually my frustration ended when payments could be made directly into my bank account.
When writing to my English “father in law” on the first occasion (he is a retired Anglican vicar) I got detailed instructions from my partner involving “Canon”, “Reverend” etc, which I dutifully wrote down. On the next occasion I was writing to him, my partner wasn’t around and I’d forgotten the details, so the letter was simply addressed to First Name, Last Name. He seemed to survive.
Seriously, I think the real reason for the difference in addressing culture in insurance companies operating in Ireland and England is to do with the fact that our corporate culture is much more closely aligned to the American way than the English way. Less formal and traditional maybe, but not necessarily less respectful.
I work for an American corporation and our daily difficulty is knowing how to start an email: Hi, Dear, Hello, Folks, All, First Name or just nothing at all? – Yours, etc,