Sir, - I write concerning the recent controversial comments on suicide made by Dr Jim McDaid TD. He is said to have described suicides as "selfish bastards". As the mother of a 19-year-old man who took his life two years ago, I feel compelled to make the following points:
Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.
To say that suicide is selfish because the suicidal person is thinking only about ending their pain and doesn't consider the pain it will cause others is not the case. Often the suicidal person spends time thinking about the effects their death will have on family and friends, but whether true or not, comes to the conclusion that it is in everyone's best interests for them to die.
When it comes to dealing with suicide, social stigma and prejudice are the greatest enemies. Our culture fosters the attitude that suicidal people are shameful, sinful, weak, manipulative and selfish. Dr McDaid's comments only serve to reinforce these attitudes. Social stigma deters people from seeking help. Social stigma prevents many people from saying what is truly bothering them thereby keeping the torturing feelings of suicide a terrible secret.
I do not believe that my son gave up his life with the intent of hurting anyone but rather because the act of living had become too painful. He wanted to end his own torment.
Many suicidal people are in their situation because they feel nobody else understands their problems. For Dr McDaid to describe them as he did, only serves to indicate that he truly does not understand the severity of the causes of suicidal feelings. If he cared a little more, he would be asking how he can help to ease the distress of people who are currently contemplating suicide.
A moment's honest reflection by Dr McDaid might just show that the problem is probably that the rest of society is too selfish to care sufficiently. - Yours, etc.,
ROSALEEN McCABE,
Clonsilla,
Dublin 15.