Sir, - I would like to express my disappointment with Nuala O'Faolain's article on gender relations (July 28th). While I appreciate that it is difficult to be objective about such issues, I do feel that her article was quite insensitive and lacking in understanding of some of the aspects involved, despite the considerable statistical detail contained in it.
In Ireland, as in other European countries, it is the more common practice for the children of broken relationships to remain with their mother. However, since the 1980s the definitions and patterns of parental rights and responsibilities have slowly been changing. In some countries the very word custody is sometimes viewed with disfavour. It has also been recognised that the adversarial court system is ill-equipped to deal with such very sensitive issues. In these countries, there is now far greater emphasis on mediation, counselling and negotiation.
Regretfully, this is not the situation in Ireland. In this country the State continues to promote the court system and restrict the mediation service. It is also universally acknowledged that the ethos of the family law system is biased in favour of the mother. While there is a historical basis for this, there is also a widely published lecture by one of Ireland's leading consultant child psychiatrists, Dr Gerard Byrne, which continues to cultivate this ethos. The lecture is frequently used as a rule of thumb guide by the family law courts in child custody and access cases:
"Where the courts have made orders for joint custody or for greater access to both homes the children were significantly more depressed and more withdrawn as compared with other children in sole custody, whether that was with the father or the mother. The children in shared custody homes with a high degree of acrimony between parents did particularly badly . . . The implication of this is that a recommendation or order for joint custody or frequent visitation in a situation of high conflict is unwise."
The potential impact of this statement on Irish separation and divorce cases is difficult to measure. Similarly, the long-term social effects of a growing population of fatherless children is also difficult to predict. Whether it will produce a future generation of social misfits is questionable and remains to be seen.
Most of our European partners have had to cope with these difficulties for decades. As a result they seem to have developed a more tolerant and understanding approach than we have. Perhaps in time we will. In the meantime, I think it is worth pointing out that there is in Ireland a growing number of separated and unmarried fathers who feel profoundly aggrieved by our system of family law. - Yours, etc.,
Teresa Mannion,
Drumcondra, Dublin 9.