Sir, - What has happened to the manhood of old Ireland? It does not say much for us when we cannot come up with a man who is willing to stand for President, or who is considered suitable or good enough by our political parties.
I would like to announce to all members of the Oireachtas, and to county councils/corporations not committed to Dana, that I am available for nomination. I am male, a fit 62 years of age, still living with the same woman that I married 36 years ago, have seven children (I am Irish and Catholic and proud of it), not interested in a married priesthood, a registered non-practising barrister (called to the Bar in 1967 with Mary Robinson and of course an expert in constitutional law - as is every member of the Bar, I might add), not a member of Opus Dei, the Knights of Columbanus or the Legion of Mary (but I am seriously thinking about the Society of St Vincent de Paul).
I am not, and never have been, a member of Fianna Fail, Fine Gael, Labour, Democratic Left, Workers' Party, the Green Party, the Blue or the Brown Shirts, Cavan Pot-Holers Party, Clann na Poblachta or Clann na Talun (new spelling, I am told). I was a former company secretary with a state-owned company which Richie Ryan told me was an extension of the public service, fully secured and pensionable or so I was lead to believe. Now I am a self-employed consultant in maritime law and a titulary member of the Comite Maritime Internationale, etc etc. A detailed curriculum vitae is available on request.
I am prepared to put a real lighted candle in the window of Aras an Uachtarain. I will also arrange to have most of the surrounding trees cut down so that people can see the candle and come in to see me when I am in the country, which I can assure everyone will be much more often than the previous tenant.
I am also a founder member of the local GAA club and have the usual "cupla focal". English is my mother tongue, God bless her, but I must confess I have only "cupla focal" of Fraincis, Geamainis etc. My semi-detached, garage-converted house was designed and built by Crouch Ltd in 1961. I had to extend my mortgage to pay for the extension, as I could not get any under-the-counter, tax-efficient handouts. I do not have a holiday island or even a holiday home - no, not even a caravan. I do not have any shares or any other kind of investments or saving accounts, either onshore or offshore.
Nevertheless, I have all the qualifications for the Presidency and will certainly represent the plain people of Ireland and the not-so-plain, as adequately, if not more adequately, than they have been represented at any time since the foundation of the State. I nearly forgot to mention that my late father helped to found this State. He took part in the Howth gun-running in 1914, fought in North King Street in 1916, was in jail with Michael Collins in Frongoch, and was a member of one of Michael Collins's hitsquads during the War of Independence.
Finally, I am not sure if I still have any connections in Northern Ireland but my father's people were burned out of Rathfriland, Co Down, in the early part of the last century. I am available for interview anywhere in the country, with reasonable notice. - Yours, etc.,
From Dermot McNulty
Willow Park Avenue, Dublin 11.