Sir, - I see from your edition of December 21st that Tricia Cusack, an academic at Birmingham University, has taken the Christmas card manufacturers to task for illustrating snowmen on their wares. I can assure the young lady that her fears of gender stereotyping are unfounded.
Coincidentally, I myself undertook similar research some years ago, but, not having the funding of an enormous university behind me, had to terminate my investigations prematurely. However, this was not before I was able to throw some light on the whole snowperson conundrum, which may serve to assist Ms Cusack in her further studies.
Most snowpersons are female! This startling revelation, overturning hundreds of years of belief in the existence of a father-figure of snovianism, can be readily ascertained by cursory examination of the effigy in question. One hardly needs to be a gynaecologist to confirm the all-too-obvious facts.
But this raises another ugly question: as most snow-ladies seem to prefer to wear men's accoutrements, by donning trilby hats, smoking pipes, and wrapping men's scarves around their necks, are these undercover ice-maidens to the forefront of a larger, more insidious Yuletide feminist plot?
And, having so successfully infiltrated an age-old tradition almost unnoticed, is this the end of Christmas as we know it? Is Father Christmas himself in peril? Will Rudolph be sporting more than a red nose next year? Will the elves be singing "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go" armed, not with shovels and spades, but with crochet hooks and knitting needles?
All males should be eternally grateful to Ms Cusack for her valuable and timely research into this vital matter. - Yours, etc.,
D.K. Henderson, Castle Avenue, Clontarf, Dublin 3.