Taoiseach And The Premiership

Sir, - I am sure many of your readers will be as alarmed as I am to learn that the Taoiseach is suffering from the Grovelling…

Sir, - I am sure many of your readers will be as alarmed as I am to learn that the Taoiseach is suffering from the Grovelling Paddy Syndrome, as he demonstrated on a television programme last Saturday.

For readers who may be unfamiliar with the condition I should explain that GPS is believed to develop from a peculiarly Irish inferiority complex, the sporting manifestation of which is a pathetic and ridiculous attachment to a British soccer club - in Mr Ahern's case, Manchester United.

The Taoiseach's obsession with a foreign soccer club could have had disastrous consequences for the GAA. What if Manchester United had been short of £60 million a couple of years back when the Government made its grant to the Irish sporting body? Would the inevitable conflict of loyalties have left the GAA high and (financially) dry? Your readers will surely join me in trying to persuade Mr Ahern to have treatment for his condition without delay. - Yours, etc.,

John Clarke, Tullamore, Cio Offaly.