Sir, - Kathryn Holmquist tells us that for "an unmarried teenager to have passionate, erotic and fulfilling sex, without open communication and commitment" is "human" (EL, May 15th).
Well, yes, of course. To be human is to have the qualities or limitations of a person. To selfishly or blindly follow all human instincts is to invite moral chaos. (For some reason I am reminded here of the adult world of politics and tribunals.)
Modern individualism invites such selfishness. Young people need to be taught standards of behaviour in every sphere of life. These standards are devised not to imprison but to protect, to inform conscience and to make for the common good. Parents, teachers, the State, must teach clearly, explain and discuss. Young people may later choose to reject the teaching they received, but this does not remove our obligation to instil conduct directed towards what is good. Unfortunately, in the face of moral collapse in society, adults can become unsure and afraid to find out or spell out God's truth.
Of itself, sex is neither pure and beautiful nor "dirty, dangerous and sinful". It is the way in which people use it that gives it its value. Sex should be the vehicle of mature and loving commitment.
In the Christian life, this commitment is made before God. People of other religious denominations also respect and mark the commitment with due seriousness. As in a business transaction, what is flippantly called the "piece of paper" confirming the marriage marks a grave contract.
It is a fact in today's pluralist and sectarian Ireland that people's minds can be so "open" that their brains tend to fall out. Many will teach children the rules of the road and of the computer but leave them to make up their own uneducated minds about caring and responsible human behaviour. We are obliged to take into account the effect our behaviour is likely to have on other people (however lucky we ourselves may be in avoiding the worst consequences).
It is commonplace for young people to think that whatever ill is possible "could never happen to me". With regard to sexual advances, adolescents are often afraid to say "No" for fear of rejection by their peers. Uneducated and uninformed consciences cannot dredge up thoughtful and wise arguments. Lads think it's "cool" to go out for the purpose of getting stoned and "laying a woman". As the saying goes, "It takes two to tango". It is shocking to allow our children grow up with so little capacity to think more seriously and behave more assertively.
Those who try to effect changes in education that will alert young people to the reality of risk-taking and trivialisation of intimacy in relationships are often jeered nowadays. The new censorship is to minimise where possible their impact on society. So much for modern "freedom".
The fruits of the new age are there for all to see. Let's go forward with courage, integrity and faith. - Yours, etc.,
Angela MacNmara, Lower Kilmacud Road, Dublin 14.