Michael Gorman's disgruntled letter (April 15th), regarding the question about ability in Irish on the current Census form, has profound implications for the citizens of this nation.
How is one to be absolutely certain about the number of people in one's house on the particular night the Census form is to be filled in? How can one be sure that there isn't a group of Mujahadeen rebels living behind the storage tank in one's attic, or some deserters from the war in Chechnya living in the furthest darkest corner of the same attic?
What if one comes upon a burglar at the exact time one is completing the form; is he/she to be included on one's form? What if the burglar is stuck half in half out of the downstairs toilet window? How can one determine whether he/she is inside the house or not? What if the burglar has long hair? It really is rather difficult to distinguish between the sexes these days. Ore what if a crowd of jaguar tamers have set up a compound in the garage you haven't opened in months?
For those of us who remember what it was like to grow up in the period of compulsory maths, English, etc., etc., at school and as essential requirements for employment, and before that, coercive potty training by parents, and even compulsory paying for lollipops in the local shop, these questions need to be answered by somebody in authority; and upon my word, the jolly old OED isn't any help either. - Yours, etc.,
Collins Wood,
Dublin 9.