The rights of fathers

Madam, - Once again I find myself utterly astonished at the casual, off-hand treatment of the rights of unmarried and separated…

Madam, - Once again I find myself utterly astonished at the casual, off-hand treatment of the rights of unmarried and separated fathers in Ireland.

I don't agree with all of the points that John Waters made in his column of November 8th, but can we really fault him for his "emotional language"? Can we blame him for saying that "there is no other issue"? It certainly chills me to the bone to see Senator David Norris referring to it as Mr Waters's "pet liberal issue" (November 16th). Far from being a "pet liberal issue", this is the biggest human rights violation in our country today. The scale of the problem is horrifying and the lack of coverage and debate it receives in our media is utterly baffling to me.

Every day in Ireland, fathers, through no fault of their own, are refused access to their children. Contact orders that grant fathers access to their children are routinely broken by mothers, with no consequences, even if these breaches are persistent and deliberate. The existence of the in camera rule in these instances means that the media are unable to publicise the appalling failures of the legal system, and also ensures that the family, friends and neighbours of both parties may not be aware of the cruelty involved.

Some fathers, conscious of the extent to which the legal system is prejudiced against them, and terrified to risk losing contact with their children, avoid the courts altogether. They often agree to appalling and degrading situations, so desperate are they to see their children. (and these are the "lucky" ones.) In this light Mr Waters's "highly emotional language" seems positively restrained to me.

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Please don't misunderstand me: I in no way condone the cavalier behaviour of men who pay little or no attention to their families, often leaving mothers to deal alone with children and sometimes with huge financial burdens. I understand that there are large numbers of mothers who struggle to bring up children alone with little or no financial or emotional support. All of these women deserve our support, respect and admiration. However, with the changing role of men in our society today, there are an increasing number of men who are genuine and who play a very hands-on role in the upbringing of their families.

It is the plight of these men that I seek to highlight.

The range and scale of Senator Norris's campaigning work on a wide variety of inequalities over the years is truly commendable and should be applauded. I understand that he deals every day with very many concerns and that some have priority over others; but in a hierarchy of injustices in Ireland today, what subject could possibly take preference over this one?

It is difficult to convey the human misery and the brutality involved in taking a child away from a parent. I believe that in 15 years' time we will look back at this period and hang our heads in shame over this issue. The truly appalling part of this is that by then, for thousands of children and their fathers, it will have been too late. - Yours, etc.,

ELEANOR McEVOY, Co Wexford.