Sir, - Harry Browne is doubtful about male and female equality in parenthood ("The Rights of Man", Features, October 14th). In his view the strongest argument in favour of the idea is "metaphysical" - i.e. that life begins at conception rather than birth. "And where," he asks, "have we heard that before?" He clearly likes to judge arguments on their origin rather than their merits.
Parenthood is first and foremost a responsibility. When a woman becomes pregnant a man, as of that moment, becomes a father. He is responsible both to the woman and to the child she carries and his rights as a father flow from this. If he fails to honour the duties of fatherhood those rights are forfeit, but the same can be said of a woman who fails as a mother.
No one would deny that it is easier for men than for women to shrug off the demands of parenthood. Biology alone ensures that men are less engaged in pregnancy and childbirth, but traditional society had ways of tying them into family responsibilities. It did this mainly by honouring fathers and insisting on their rights, often to the point of treating women unequally.
In recent years the feminist critique of traditional structures has emphasised the rights of women, but there has been little enough reflection on the positive value of fatherhood. If anything, the tendency has been to play down the role of fathers and the effect has been to undermine responsible manhood in two ways. Firstly, it has provided a readymade excuse for men to abandon their role as fathers. Secondly, separated fathers who want to take their responsibilities seriously are given little or no support. The only winner in this state of affairs is the man who knows how to deaden his conscience.
Traditional society understood that men need to be socialised in a way that women do not and this task was seen primarily as one for men themselves. Men need to encourage each other to be responsible fathers. It is hard to see how this can be done if we do not accept that parenthood calls for an equal partnership of male and female. - Yours, etc., Edmond Grace,
SJ, St Francis Xavier's,
Upper Gardiner Street,
Dublin 1.