Madam, - The winter vomiting bug is quite a problem just now, but what bugs me is the all-the-year round night-time vomiting that bespatters where e'er we walk. Each morning brings a fresh - I mean, additional - helping of these stomach-churning effusions from retchedly churning stomachs.
Nowhere else in the world will you find the pavement polluted by puking pedestrians, while only in this corner of the world is washing the footpath pooh-poohed as a fatuous foreign affectation.
Is there some Hibernian hernia that causes the Gaelic gullet to reverse its flow in these volcanic - indeed, magnanimous - eruptions? Is there a Gastritis Foundation of Ireland that has researched our Celtic craw-jumping from spastic stomachs and tummies in tumult?
Remember: the footwear traversing our chyme-coated concrete is worn by doctors and nurses into our hospitals, as well as patients and visitors, not to mention cleaners, occasionally. So let's not blame global warming if we find a supposedly seasonal disorder deferring to neither solstice nor equinox. - Yours, etc.,
FRANK FARRELL,
Lakelands Close,
Stillorgan,
Co Dublin.