Sir, - Unlike John Waters (Opinion, September 8th) I think it is praiseworthy that Catholic bishops are addressing the issue of domestic violence and, more importantly, putting across the view that no-one should remain in an abusive marriage, regardless of their marriage vows. This is a far cry from: "You made your bed, now lie in it".
I can appreciate Mr Waters's sensitivity towards a document which implies that violence in the home is mostly perpetrated by men, but his argument that it is based on spurious statistics does not explain why we have more women than men looking for refuge from violence within the home.
We can only get a picture of current domestic violence from all available data, and it is true that it is sketchy and inadequate. Men are afraid to admit they are victims of domestic violence and are especially ashamed to "speak out" for fear they may be ridiculed for "allowing" a woman to victimise them. But then there are women who have not admitted they are living with an abusive husband, for fear of losing their homes and their children.
It is not helpful to call the sources which provided the data on which the Church's document is based "the domestic violence industry", implying that the integrity of those organisations is questionable, as if they existed for financial profit, rather than to provide services for people in genuine need. By using such a term I imagine Mr Waters will offend honourable people, many of whom experienced violence and went on to help others, with very few resources.
It is also not fair for Mr Waters to describe the information we do have as "extreme feminist analysis". Would he accuse the Rape Crisis Centre of feminist bias, if its data showed more women than men presenting themselves to the centre?
Even though the high cost of living forces more couples to work outside the home, there are still many women earning less than men, working part-time, and acting as the children's primary carers.
Women are often still dependent financially on men and this imbalance of power can contribute to domestic abuse. Mr Waters trivialises the abuse of power between the sexes by patronising the bishops' inclusion in their statistics of a number of cases where it was reported that a man failed to give a women "enough money for clothes", while refusing to acknowledge what is being alluded to. It is a real problem that a woman might have to live with martial abuse because she is dependent on a man for the roof over her children's heads.
Could Mr Waters not be more constructive, possibly putting forward some real ideas which would help us to understand domestic violence?
I commend any analysis that forces us to look at why there are crimes in the home, with victims who are afraid to be heard. If the Catholic bishops provide a lead in this direction, they are to be applauded. - Yours, etc.,
Lia Godfrey, Pearse Road, Sallynoggin, Co Dublin.