FROM THE ARCHIVES:In March 1916 – coincidentally, a month before the Easter Rising – The Irish Times published "a flight of fancy" to enlighten the "foolish minority" who wanted Germany to win the first World War. Under the headline "If The Germans Came", it ran a supposed letter to his wife from the new military governor of Cork, Baron von Kartoffel, of which this is part.
– JOE JOYCE
THE SECOND deputation was from the Sinn Fein Party, that name, my angel, being the Irish for “Up with Germany.” Himmel! How I laughed as from my window I saw the approach of our allies, green flags flying above the strangest collection of weapons ever carried by mortal man, pop-guns, shot-guns, pikes, and blunderbusses. The procession was headed by a band, whose instrumental efforts gave me a pain in my digestion.
Still more did I wish to laugh when the speeches began, some in Irish, some in English, and even these I found rather hard to follow. The chief thing that struck me was the confidence of the fellows. They seemed to think – such was their assurance – that they would be invited to form a sort of council or governing body – a medium, in short, for the lavish expenditure of German gold. I noticed that their jaws fell when I made it clear that I need neither help nor advice in the administration of my office. They shuffled their feet and looked at one another from the corner of their eyes. I then made them the following speech:
“Gentlemen of the Sinn Fein Party, I have the honour to announce to you that His Imperial Majesty the Kaiser has graciously consented to bestow upon you signal and immediate marks of his august favour. His Majesty feels that no reward can be too great for people like yourselves, who were so far-seeing as to anticipate our victory, so wise as to ally yourselves with us. That you were never called upon to shed blood is neither here nor there. The spirit was undoubtedly willing. His Majesty in recognition of your splendid, your magnificent, courage, can give you nothing less than estates in the great Fatherland, properties where you will have fuller scope for the exercise of your great talents than you could ever have in this small island. Gentlemen, on the salubrious shores of the Baltic many small holdings have been allotted to you. Such is the impatience of our Emperor to meet his brave Irish subjects that he has sent a battleship to transport you in state and honour to your new home in company with your wives and children. A special and decorated train marked ‘Baltic Express’ will leave the Glanmire Station at 4p.m. to-morrow for Queenstown where the ship awaits you before we part, I call for three cheers for the Kaiser. Hoch!”
It was better than a play, my Anna, to see the utter consternation of these men. They were speechless. They tottered from my presence. Two-thirds of them, so von Wurm told me, had what they call a “weakness” (ohnmachtsanfall), on their way down the hill.
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