Mary Robinson acted as legal adviser to the Irish women's liberation movement in the early 1970s. According to a biography by Olivia O'Leary and Helen Burke, Eavan Boland once rang Mary Robinson looking for seven laws that discriminated against women, writes Breda O'Brien
To which she politely replied, why only seven? The ones she listed off the top of her head were: women not being called to serve on juries; women having no statutory right to equal pay; a married woman having no legal domicile other than her husband's and almost no independent right to make financial arrangements; if a married woman paid tax, her husband got the rebates; he also got the children's allowance money, and he was the legal guardian of the children. That was the situation a mere 35 years ago, but a 25-year-old today would laugh incredulously if told that a married woman could not even sign a hire-purchase agreement for a washing-machine herself.
In one way, given the battles that Mary Robinson fought, it is easy to understand her unease at what appears to be young women giving up hard-won gains. Perhaps young women today are too complacent, because the battles were fought mainly before they were born. However, they are also the generation who see that not everything that has been achieved is positive.
As one friend of mine morosely put it, we achieved the right to grow ulcers and have cardiac arrests - just like men. No woman would like to return to the legal situation of the 1970s. However, while women of a previous generation felt they had to work twice as hard as men, never complain and never ask for special treatment simply because they were women, younger women are not so constrained. Perhaps because some of them saw the frantic juggling of their mothers' lives, they are more likely to back off from it all, and prioritise raising their children.
Is that "copping out"? Mary Robinson thinks they should stay and fight, and force the workplace and society to accommodate them. But what if you want something different? Not every woman wants a career. Not every woman wants to hand over her children to another woman or an institution.
Mary Robinson says in her recent letter to The Irish Times: "There is a danger that work pressures together with ideological pressures in the US today will reinforce gender stereotyping instead of encouraging women to fulfil their true potential." But what if some women believe they can "fulfil their true potential" by becoming full-time mothers? She acknowledges that we must continue to "value and support" the "individual choice of a well-qualified woman to elect to stay at home with her young children".
But what if changing society to facilitate women who wish to stay in the paid workforce results in it becoming almost impossible for a woman to choose to stay at home? Fanciful? We need look no further than a fascinating recent article on childcare in Denmark, written by Kate Holmquist. For example, Caroline Tantholdt, a Danish TV presenter, says: "Being a full-time mother by choice doesn't exist. Why waste your education?" The implication is that the two out of 10 mothers in Denmark who do not work outside the home would be in the workforce if they had the choice.
According to Fransiska Tvede, teacher and manager: "A small minority of right-wing extremists believe that young children should be cared for full-time in the home by a parent we believe that children are happiest together with other children."
"Day mothers", women who care for other people's children in their own homes, compile records for each child of "milestones, experiences, pictures, stories and words". No doubt the books are very valuable indeed, because the parents won't be experiencing these milestones for themselves. Nor is it acceptable to grieve that it is another person who will witness the first steps or sentences, or that triumphant first day without a nappy.
Mary Robinson was responsible for the fact that some words entered our everyday language. One was "empowerment". In Denmark, parents have been completely disempowered, because child-rearing after the age of about 18 months is seen as best left in the province of professionals.
Mette Kjaergaard, a human resources manager, says: "If a mother stays at home, where is her life? What about her education? The mother would be lonely at home and the child wouldn't meet new friends, since all children are in day care."
Is that truly what we want in Ireland? All the children in day care, and parents feeling that they are better off there? Has anyone asked the children? Given a choice, would children choose more time with their parents or with the trained teachers and chefs?
One of the consequences of empowerment of women in Ireland and elsewhere is one that women of Mary Robinson's generation apparently did not envisage - that some women would cast a cold eye on all that had been gained and conclude that there are more important things. Just as it was difficult for women of Mary Robinson's generation to break the stereotype that all women want to be full-time mothers, it is now difficult, some would say almost impossible, for women to choose to be full-time parents. Nor, indeed, is it easy for men to make that choice either.
Although there were some positive measures, particularly for families with small children, the Budget did nothing to redress the individualisation introduced by Charlie McCreevy. Single-income families above a certain income are now paying thousands more in tax than a dual-income couple. The Home Carer's Tax Credit, a sop to single-income families that is worth a derisory €2.11 per day, has not been increased since it was introduced. The most pressing issue for many young parents is not childcare, but housing. Living miles away from parents and other supports, and crippled by huge repayments, two incomes become a necessity.
For many people, it is not a burning desire for a career but economic necessity that dictates their choices. Galling as it may be, we may have to recognise that the radical and difficult choice for women today may be to step out of the rat-race and "fulfil their potential" by becoming full-time parents.
bobrien@irish-times.ie