Can you imagine the GAA turning up without the team kit, only two goalposts and no footballs? Roy Keane is a man downed by the mediocrity of those around him, writes Paul Cullen
So, which side are you on? Are you for hard-working professionalism, individual brilliance and a magic that shines on all of us?
For bluff, straight-talking honesty and a Greta Garbo-like shyness? For someone who'd rather be at home than in the pub or at a barbecue with a slew of sports journalists?
Or are you for slithery mediocrity and an "ah, sure, 'twill do" attitude to preparation? For larks in the tropics and "mine's a pina colada"? For "we'll show him who's boss" because we can?
Based on what we know now about this dispute, the choice is clear. Do you want heroic failure, more "nil-all victories"? Or do you dare to hope for heroic triumphs under an inspirational captain?
As Keane said here yesterday: "It's a laugh and a joke, of course, some of it, always has been with us, but now I'm thinking enough is enough."
We are presented with a stark choice between a second-rate past and a potentially world-class future.
Between the old sloppiness of decisions made in secrecy or in smoke-filled bars, and the promise of a new way of doing things, based on merit and the pursuit of excellence.
Keane was wrong when he said the FAI had no balls. What they are really lacking is a brain and a spine.
A brain, because they don't know how to organise such a vital trip with the required level of professionalism and attention to detail.
This isn't the Dublin schoolboys' league, after all, where hard pitches and missing gear wouldn't cause the blink of an eyelid.
Can you imagine the GAA turning up without the team kit, only two goalposts and no footballs?
Can you imagine the GAA not delegating the details of trip planning to the professionals who know how to micro-manage tours and overseas events?
As Roy said: "Fail to prepare. Prepare to fail." More important, if our soccer officials had a backbone, they would recognise the validity of Keane's measured complaints.
They would do what they could to address them, and then sue for peace. Feathers would be ruffled, but life would go on. Instead, we've had the equivalent of a Mike Tyson-Lennox Lewis weigh-in - lots of eyeballing, a few punches thrown, all that macho guff. It's hard to see what Keane has done wrong. He hasn't taken drugs. Witnessed the beating up of a member of an ethnic minority. Assaulted his girlfriend. Insulted his colleagues. All of these are examples from the behaviour of today's footballers. But read Keane's interview with Tom Humphries in yesterday's Irish Times, and it's clear what sets him apart from his spoiled-brat colleagues in the English Premiership. His offence is that he demanded first-class facilities. He wanted to be on his own. He wanted to train hard. He didn't want to be interviewed by a journalist who, in his opinion, had "slagged off" the footballer and his family.
This was too much for the Blazers, the men who run Irish soccer. The men who travelled first-class for years before the players back in steerage got a bit uppity. The men who preside over a joke of a national league forever teetering on the brink of collapse.
There's a thread here, from Eamon Dunphy's playing days and later writings, to the treatment of Liam Brady, to Keane's earlier grievances. Good God - give one of those players equality and decent treatment, and then the whole damn team will want it!
Think, too, of our other Cork-born sports star, Sonia O'Sullivan, and her experience with sports officials. Remember how she was forced to strip off in a tunnel in the Olympic Stadium in Atlanta in 1996 because of a dispute between rival sports organisations?
Must those who excel for Ireland always be let down by those who travel in their slipstream?
Look at the reality of soccer in so many parts of Ireland. Sodden pitches, freight containers for changing rooms, cold showers if at all. Schoolboys who dream of being the next Roy Keane but are unlikely to get an even break.
Yet it's not so long since the FAI wanted to spend €160 million on a stadium but then changed its mind and rowed in with the Government's plans for a national stadium at Abbotstown.
It's clear from the reaction to Keane's comments that they have a resonance with many people. Anyone who had to struggle against the "second-best is good enough" mentality.
Anyone who has been confronted by a closing of the ranks when authority is challenged.
No one is denying that Keane is a difficult, complex man. He has his demons, not all of them exorcised. Like all geniuses, he needs to be handled with care.
Every organisation has people who cause their colleagues to tear their hair out on a bad day, and make life worth living on a good one.
But don't listen to me: ask Alex Ferguson. The Manchester United manager recognised in Keane a man after his own image.
Keane and others "had the combative drive that I cherish and it made each of them, in my eyes, a true United player," Ferguson wrote in his autobiography.
Ferguson wasn't blind to the Irishman's faults. "His Irish fire was fundamental to his immense value as a footballer but his tendency to go beyond the bounds of acceptability would have to be curbed," he wrote in relation to Keane's early years with the club.
But Ferguson did tame Keane, who has since produced a series of extraordinary performances for the club. Here's his description of Keane's performance in the 1999 Champions' League semi-final tie: "It was the most emphatic display of selflessness I have seen on a football field. Pounding over every blade of grass, competing as if he would rather die of exhaustion than lose, he inspired all around him.
I felt if was an honour to be associated with such a player."Keane could be doing the same for Ireland next month but for the short-sightedness of our soccer officials.
But don't mind me. I'm Irish; I'll just sit here in the dark (along with the rest of the FAI).