We must take collective responsibility to provide support and to meet the practical needs of all types of parenting units in Ireland, writes Karen Kiernan
The summer has officially ended and children are back in school as the weather continues to improve. Many parents will be breathing a sigh of relief that family life is back to normal, while for others, the nightmare of finding affordable childcare and after-school care is well under way. This exemplifies the lack of coherence around work-life balance for many parents in Ireland. As our economy has thrived, our policies and culture have not caught up with the issues facing families in modern Ireland.
The time is ripe for a new debate about the family in Ireland today. The rights and needs of children are finally being considered at a constitutional level, which is most welcome. We also need to have the practical needs of parents, many of whom are in employment, supported in the vital task of parenting. Last year, the European Union formally recognised that the work-life balance for parents is an important element of its policies.
Although society has moved from viewing family life as private, we have not yet taken collective responsibility for supporting and strengthening parenting and family life in Ireland. The reality of family diversity and new family forms that no longer conform to the traditional nuclear family are subject to ongoing criticism rather than appropriate supports. Parenting is a rewarding but challenging job. So many parents struggle with the complexities and difficulties of parenting and yet, so many of the skills needed can be easily learned and acquired. Courses in parenting and communications skills can reinforce what parents already know and give them the confidence to know that they are a "good enough" parent. The concept of providing training support to parents is still relatively new in Ireland.
Such an approach is underpinned by the principle that a positive family environment goes a long way towards producing adults with good coping skills and healthy self-esteem. A growing range of supports are developing to support parents and parenting and a range of public and voluntary service providers such as Family Resource Centres and One Family provide services to help families provide positive futures for their children.
While parenting can be a hard job for all parents, those parenting alone or in shared parenting situations face unique challenges. Lone parents may find it particularly difficult to balance their career and family lives, may face difficulties communicating and negotiating with a former partner or may struggle with the emotional stress of parenting alone or dealing with relationship breakdown.
In response to these issues of major social importance, One Family has developed a replicable model of specialist support services for one-parent families. Our interventions include a range of successful programmes for parents addressing a diversity of needs from parenting, personal and family skills to progressing to education or employment.
The One Family training and consultancy service translates our 35 years of experience of working closely with one-parent families into training for professionals working with such families. Our vision is that every family in Ireland will be cherished equally, and will enjoy the social, financial and legal equality to create their own positive future.
There has increasing focus in the media and in the courts on the roles and responsibilities of both parents in a child's life, particularly in separation or shared parenting situations. Children's needs and rights must be put at the centre of this debate. At One Family's recent seminar, Divorce 10 Years On, the focus was on exploring how children's voices can be heard in separation and divorce proceedings. Children have a right to positive relationships with both parents where possible and the Government needs to support initiatives that can make this a reality.
One Family, assisted by the Family Support Agency, is carrying out research into child and family contact centres in Ireland in an effort to look at the needs of families around shared parenting. Research is also needed on the policies and supports required to strengthen family life across all types of family forms.
The 30th Dáil's programme for government details numerous policies designed to support all parents in various ways. The Government's commitments include the provision of affordable school-age childcare with a range of after-school and holiday-time activities, ensuring every child has access to a pre-school place by 2012 and new commitments to policies aimed at giving parents more time with their children.
Such supports are long overdue in Ireland and One Family welcomes their speedy implementation.
One-parent families also need additional support from the Government to ensure opportunities for education and career success in ways that allow lone parents to maintain a healthy work-life balance.
Irish society needs to broaden its understanding of family and foster respect for all family forms. Family diversity is a reality - the traditional family model no longer reflects the lives of most families in Ireland - but rather than lament this change, we need to celebrate and respect all families and enable parents to provide the best life for their children.
The future now lies in working in partnership between Government, service providers and parents to create policies and supports for all families that reflect such respect.
Karen Kiernan is director of support group One Family, which issues its annual report today